Twice and failed

The first time I tried, it was an RTA I attempted, left out with few stitches on my head and a shoulder tear. The second time was expired antibiotic and sleeping pill together overdose, got out of it, after having few days of explosive diarrhoea. I’m planning for the third, ya know, 3 times a charm they say. But I want to earn some money for my coffin I’ve designed and the plot required. I’ve spent my savings, so I have no money with me rn. And my parents r narcissistic and too patriarchal. I’m 23 and I can’t close my room door, forget about locking. I’m a licensed doctor from a prestigious uni but have to shut tf if somebody asked me for medical advice. Even if I say sthg, it’s not true cuz I’m still child and immature and an idiot, even though that’s considered utter basic at our hospital . This is what exactly my parents tell me everyday on a daily basis. So rn, I want to get into residency by passing an entrance exam, get some money, order a coffin, and I have a fool-proof method in my mind. The reason I wanna earn money first is, I doubt my parents will make my death about themselves and make me the bad person. And if I die as somebody successful, I hope there’ll be more chances of ppl believing my side of the story . （￣へ￣）