Update.

I just went through my experiences/did/want to do 'thing' in this profile today after a year or months of not being on here - basically ever since mangago had a reset and got rid of thousands of my bookmarks.

I'm here to updatethat I'm doing much better. I'm not that suicidal anymore and life does get better. Somehow but it does. My problem with the ex / loml ex has passed. We don't talk anymore. We officially cut everything. I still have issues with people but it isnt as bad as the issue with my loml ex. Life does get better. (I don't know if it will continue to be okay for me but i have more people now and i think i will be fine. )

AO3 is down for 2-4 weeks so I'll be here.. again.. its like returning back home. This was my home before I dedicated myself to AO3. Everything will be ok.