Am I The Asshole?

My friend and I have been friends for the past three years, and over time we've built a strong bond despite being complete polar opposites in almost every aspect of our personalities and because of this accommodating to each other's differences and understanding each other can sometimes be difficult, we don't talk very often even though she's someone I genuinely consider myself close to, but I think that our friendship has been falling apart lately and that we're constantly going back and forth between awkward brief interactions and arguments. our last argument was when she had asked me what day an extra class was scheduled for, and I told her, however the class was rescheduled afterwards and the announcement was posted in our class gc which we are both members of, since I tend to double check I noticed the message and simply went back to sleep without thinking of notifying her personally because I assumed that she would see the message herself considering she was in the gc but that wasn’t the case, she didn't see it and ended up going to class on the wrong day, so she texted me asking what was wrong with me and saying that I tend to twist situations and make her look like the villain before blocking me, I was dumbfounded upon reading that and told her later that I thought her reaction was disproportionate considering the situation and that I’m not her personal assistant to keep track of her schedule but we eventually made up once she had calmed down, we didn't talk after that for a while but when we finally reconciled, we ended up in another argument, this time she texted me about having smoked and asked how to get rid of the smell, my mom who has a habit of snooping through my phone which my friend is aware of, saw the messages and the only thing she said was that I shouldn't smoke so I jokingly mentioned this to my friend but she became extremely angry, her concern was that my mom might tell her own mother, who is very strict and could potentially harm her if she found out, I tried reassuring her repeatedly that this wouldn't happen because before even mentioning this to my friend, I had spoken to my mom about it, who explicitly told me that she never considered telling anyone and that she wouldn't do anything to put her in that position and I even deleted our conversation about smoking as a hopeless attempt in protecting her privacy, despite my attempts to reassure her, she called me gullible and dumb for trusting my mom which I can understand why she might be distrustful, given her own relationship with her family, but I have told her that my mom and I have a very different dynamic, we are always honest and upfront with each other even if the truth is uncomfortable or hurtful so I thought this reaction was odd considering that my mom have repeatedly lied and covered up for her before, even in worst situations so that wasn’t inordinate ,my friend eventually said that she won’t tell me anything anymore and that I’m inconsiderate of her. I don't want her to feel unsafe because of something she shared with me and I don't think I'm entirely blameless in either situation, and I'm willing to acknowledge that there were things I could have handled better but I also feel that my friend has been unfair in some aspects, I think that our relationship have been an endless cycle of trivial arguments where she keeps implying that I’m inconsiderate and deliberately sabotaging her argument after argument which is extremely dramatic in my opinion, I also want to acknowledge that, since we have different ways of processing emotions and expressing them, when these situations happen she tends to be extremely angry, aggravated and frustrated where I tend to stay calm which can sometimes make her believe that I’m disinterested, dismissive, and that I simply don't care, during the smoking argument, she told me that I should at least act like I care and do something to protect her or hide my apparent indifference better, I understand how my reactions might be interpreted that way but I can’t simply change it overnight, and it doesn’t negate the fact that I do care, I talked to another friend of mine and my brother about this, my friend said that I should have been more considerate of her while my brother said that my friend is dramatic, I’ve been conflicted and truly don’t know whose fault this is and if I’m in the wrong how do I fix this