Internalized homophobia in BL

There’s a specific trope that is super common where typically the top is absolutely in denial that he’s in love with his best friend and is either homophobic or claims he’s straight while completely being possessive over his best friend. Even though this is done like hundred times I don’t understand why authors never take the opportunity to write about internalized homophobia like they always end up making the character say some bullshit like “I’m not gay. I’m just in love with you” or make them hardly question their sexuality like they’ll just accept that they like the mc and move on but that never makes sense to me, especially if the character is homophobic most people would have an identity crisis.

I feel like there’s hardly any stories that accurately portray internalized homophobia like the only one I can think of is the summer hikaru died.