Lesbian barb's question (2)

Is it weird to miss someone who left you bcz they think you're not good for them (saying you deserve to be with someone better) yk bcz they don't want their mental health to affect you bcz they don't even know how to manage it (and they can't express their feelings properly)

Because I, a local lesbian(is this information needed... idk) who doesn't even know is she likes girls or if she just like a girl, got broken up with a few months ago (it's been 80+ days now) and I still can't move on because I felt like forgetting the person I truly wanted to be with for the rest of my life just leaving me without asking for my opinion on and and just just jumping into conclusions that I'm sad with them instead of asking when I always reassure them that they're someone really important to me...

Yeah I just need some other opinions from others because I'm genuinely going inside crying everyday not exaggerated bcz I really do cry everyday bcz I miss that someone (-_-)hahahaha;;;

I want to chase after her even after she just dropped the bomb in a random day because she tried to find any flaw that can make her hate me(she twist everyones words even if they don't mean any harm so yeah she said this herself so don't jump me pls) but she couldn't because whatever I do she can never hate me for anything ...she hates everyone with a burning passion so I don't know why she fell in love with me too so hehehe yeah I'm still madly in love with this person I know I'm genuinely insane

(;;;・_・)
Wait why am I still typing... Tbh I can yap more than this but I'm half asleep rn (I haven't slept for days) so after crying I decided to type this and after I hit post ima sleep peacefully like I ain't going to sleep with a heavy heart and wake up with a pit in my stomach hahahaha wth (◍•ᴗ•◍)

My gf recently broke up with me because we had a small conflict and I she broke all contact with me after a day of thinking about it deeply. I love her so much to the point that I made an alt to check up on her to see if she ever thought about me while she scrolls through her fyp I can't sit still and I'm scared I'll lose her forever. She didn't even ask if I was really sad when I was with her... She didn't want me to know more about her real self and that's what makes me in physical pain. I want to reach on to her to resolve this small misunderstanding because she kept hurting herself by saying she wasn't enough for me and she didn't show me how much she loved me that I was always sad with her but no.. I was the happiest girl alive because I finally felt seen by someone and cared by someone who loves me for who I am. Why can't she see how much I was happy with her just after a short conflict? I don't know what to do anymore... I tried to ask her friends how she's doing but I feel like I'm a bother since I kept sending long msg to them like they'll ever even listen to me... I don't know how else to reach her rather than me waiting patiently for her to come back and check all my replies to her break up letter. I don't want her to think that she's a loser who couldn't give me the love I deserve because I truly did feel her love... I feel so sick because she won't even check my msg idk if she even sees all of them since I was blocked on the app shes always active on and my msg did send on the other apps but I think she restricted me...

Its never really a waste of time to wait for her idk why she said she's sorry for wasting my time being with her when I would give her all my time just to be with her... But idk anymore I feel so sick and my chest hurts so much idk who else to run to because she won't answer any of my questions... I want to know more about her even if she doesn't like being known this much...

┗( T﹏T )┛

Am I truly pathetic to still wait for her to change her mind even though she always told me to stop waiting for her because she won't ever change this decision? If not how do I get her out of my mind and focus on myself when I feel so incomplete without her? I feel so weak and helpless idk anymore