about question
I moved out of my parents’ house for university and came back home recently for work and vacation. I only brought my bike, a bag, and a few clothes because I planned to return to my uni city with a friend who has a car + another friend was joining us for the ride too.
Fast forward to the day we head back: we arrived in our study city around 11 p.m. They dropped me off at my place and immediately went out clubbing. The next morning, I woke up to a text saying they had busted the car tires. I was like, okay, whatever, things happen.
We were originally supposed to return to our hometown by 2 p.m. But she told me they had to go urgently to the garage to fix the car, so the departure was pushed to 4 p.m. Around 4, I messaged them asking when we were leaving. My friend (the car owner) replied, “soon.” Now to me, “soon” means within 5–15 minutes. But an hour went by, and they still hadn’t shown up. I messaged again, and she said they were on their way.
When they finally arrived, instead of apologizing or explaining, my friend started scolding me, saying I pissed her off for asking when they were coming. I was shocked. Like, why say you’re coming soon if it’s going to take another hour? Why not just be honest and say you’re not sure? I wasn’t even mad about the tire thing, that’s not her fault. What frustrates me is that she doesn’t seem to realize people are depending on her. You can’t just casually throw out timelines and then not follow through, especially when others have plans too.
And honestly, this isn’t new. Every time I go out with her and depend on her, something goes wrong. Last time, she locked us out of her place until 4 a.m. because she forgot her keys, and my phone and keys were inside her apartment. That happened twice in a single week. Even when we were leaving to come back to the uni city, she showed up an hour and a half late.
It’s not just about today, it’s the buildup of all these little chaotic incidents that finally pushed me over the edge. I know she didn’t slash her own tires on purpose, but still, I can’t help feeling exhausted and fed up. It’s like chaos follows her wherever she goes, and if you’re with her, you’re just expected to roll with it. The ride home was completely silent, I barely said two words the whole way.
So yeah. What do you think?
Fast forward to the day we head back: we arrived in our study city around 11 p.m. They dropped me off at my place and immediately went out clubbing. The next morning, I woke up to a text saying they had busted the car tires. I was like, okay, whatever, things happen.
We were originally supposed to return to our hometown by 2 p.m. But she told me they had to go urgently to the garage to fix the car, so the departure was pushed to 4 p.m. Around 4, I messaged them asking when we were leaving. My friend (the car owner) replied, “soon.” Now to me, “soon” means within 5–15 minutes. But an hour went by, and they still hadn’t shown up. I messaged again, and she said they were on their way.
When they finally arrived, instead of apologizing or explaining, my friend started scolding me, saying I pissed her off for asking when they were coming. I was shocked. Like, why say you’re coming soon if it’s going to take another hour? Why not just be honest and say you’re not sure? I wasn’t even mad about the tire thing, that’s not her fault. What frustrates me is that she doesn’t seem to realize people are depending on her. You can’t just casually throw out timelines and then not follow through, especially when others have plans too.
And honestly, this isn’t new. Every time I go out with her and depend on her, something goes wrong. Last time, she locked us out of her place until 4 a.m. because she forgot her keys, and my phone and keys were inside her apartment. That happened twice in a single week. Even when we were leaving to come back to the uni city, she showed up an hour and a half late.
It’s not just about today, it’s the buildup of all these little chaotic incidents that finally pushed me over the edge. I know she didn’t slash her own tires on purpose, but still, I can’t help feeling exhausted and fed up. It’s like chaos follows her wherever she goes, and if you’re with her, you’re just expected to roll with it. The ride home was completely silent, I barely said two words the whole way.
So yeah. What do you think?
about question
I had COVID about five years ago, and ever since then I’ve lost my sense of smell. And when I say I can’t smell, I mean I smell absolutely nothing. I don’t mean that everything smells like nothing in comparaison to a smell. I don’t mean that everything smells like air, or that everything smells neutral, or that everything smells like « nothing » as though « nothing » were itself a smell. There is simply no smell sensation at all.
The best comparison I can make is with the way people sometimes describe blindness. A person who has never been able to see doesn’t necessarily experience their vision as a permanent black screen. Black is still something you see. What I’m trying to describe is closer to the absence of the sense itself. That’s what smell is like for me. There is no smell to perceive, no matter what’s around me. If someone is smoking right next to me, I don’t smell cigarette smoke. If someone sprays perfume or air freshener, I don’t smell perfume or air freshener. If someone is cooking, I don’t smell the food. There is just nothing. But here’s the strange part. After five years of living in this complete absence of smell, I’ve noticed that I can sometimes tell when something has entered that « nothingness. »For example, if someone is smoking right next to me, I can’t smell the cigarette at all, but I can somehow tell that the air is no longer nothing. I can’t identify what it is. I can’t say « that’s cigarette smoke »because I don’t actually smell it. I just suddenly become aware that something is there. The same thing happens if someone sprays a strong air freshener in a bathroom and I walk in shortly afterwards. I still can’t smell the air freshener, but I can tell that something is present in the air.
I’ve started describing this to myself almost as if different smells have different « weights ». The stronger or more intense the smell would presumably be, the more noticeable this strange sensation is for me. I don’t know if I’m actually sensing something physical about the air, or whether I’m perceiving irritation or another sensation through a different sensory system. I genuinely have no idea. I just know that I can sometimes detect the presence of something without being able to smell or identify it.
And I’ve noticed something similar with taste. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly taste food anymore. Most things are extremely bland because I don’t get the smell component that normally contributes so much to flavour. However, I’ve somehow adapted to being able to recognize certain tastes when they’re extremely concentrated. As in, I can sometimes tell that something is salty, sweet, or sour, but I need a ridiculous amount of it. And even then, it isn’t necessarily the normal experience of tasting it. It’s more like I’m recognizing the physical sensation it creates in my mouth. Salt produces one kind of sensation, sour things produce another kind of sting, and very concentrated sweet things produce another sensation. So I can distinguish them based partly on those sensations. The problem is that I have to use much more salt, sugar, etc. than someone with a normal sense of taste would need to actually notice them, which obviously isn’t great for my health. I’ve mostly just adapted by eating food that other people would probably consider extremely bland.
So I’m wondering if anyone else is experiencing the same thing as me
The best comparison I can make is with the way people sometimes describe blindness. A person who has never been able to see doesn’t necessarily experience their vision as a permanent black screen. Black is still something you see. What I’m trying to describe is closer to the absence of the sense itself. That’s what smell is like for me. There is no smell to perceive, no matter what’s around me. If someone is smoking right next to me, I don’t smell cigarette smoke. If someone sprays perfume or air freshener, I don’t smell perfume or air freshener. If someone is cooking, I don’t smell the food. There is just nothing. But here’s the strange part. After five years of living in this complete absence of smell, I’ve noticed that I can sometimes tell when something has entered that « nothingness. »For example, if someone is smoking right next to me, I can’t smell the cigarette at all, but I can somehow tell that the air is no longer nothing. I can’t identify what it is. I can’t say « that’s cigarette smoke »because I don’t actually smell it. I just suddenly become aware that something is there. The same thing happens if someone sprays a strong air freshener in a bathroom and I walk in shortly afterwards. I still can’t smell the air freshener, but I can tell that something is present in the air.
I’ve started describing this to myself almost as if different smells have different « weights ». The stronger or more intense the smell would presumably be, the more noticeable this strange sensation is for me. I don’t know if I’m actually sensing something physical about the air, or whether I’m perceiving irritation or another sensation through a different sensory system. I genuinely have no idea. I just know that I can sometimes detect the presence of something without being able to smell or identify it.
And I’ve noticed something similar with taste. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly taste food anymore. Most things are extremely bland because I don’t get the smell component that normally contributes so much to flavour. However, I’ve somehow adapted to being able to recognize certain tastes when they’re extremely concentrated. As in, I can sometimes tell that something is salty, sweet, or sour, but I need a ridiculous amount of it. And even then, it isn’t necessarily the normal experience of tasting it. It’s more like I’m recognizing the physical sensation it creates in my mouth. Salt produces one kind of sensation, sour things produce another kind of sting, and very concentrated sweet things produce another sensation. So I can distinguish them based partly on those sensations. The problem is that I have to use much more salt, sugar, etc. than someone with a normal sense of taste would need to actually notice them, which obviously isn’t great for my health. I’ve mostly just adapted by eating food that other people would probably consider extremely bland.
So I’m wondering if anyone else is experiencing the same thing as me
about question
Random 11pm thought. I was remembering my trip to Portugal with friends this summer. We were staying in Porto and decided to head down to Lisbon for a day. Unfortunately, I had my period and between the heat and all the walking, I was dying. So when we got to the city center, I asked if we could hop on the historic tram so we could sightsee without me suffering.
But we eventually decided to keep walking instead, since we only had one day and wanted to explore every corner we could. I figured I could push through the pain a little longer, so it was fine.
When we got back to our Airbnb in Porto, our families started blowing up our phones (I’m talking grandparents, distant uncles you only hear from once a year type of calls) because there had been a deadly accident (16 deaths) involving that same historical tram, around the same time and in the same area we were at.
Just imagine if they had listened to me and we’d gotten on that rusty metal relic… I thank God every day that we chose to walk, because we could’ve been part of those same 16 people that died.
Have any of you experienced something similar ?
But we eventually decided to keep walking instead, since we only had one day and wanted to explore every corner we could. I figured I could push through the pain a little longer, so it was fine.
When we got back to our Airbnb in Porto, our families started blowing up our phones (I’m talking grandparents, distant uncles you only hear from once a year type of calls) because there had been a deadly accident (16 deaths) involving that same historical tram, around the same time and in the same area we were at.
Just imagine if they had listened to me and we’d gotten on that rusty metal relic… I thank God every day that we chose to walk, because we could’ve been part of those same 16 people that died.
Have any of you experienced something similar ?