LGBTQ+ where y'all at?

Oh yeah, that's me. I know that my parents aren't homophobic at all, but I just didn't feel like coming out to them. At the same time I was excited to tell people and just mostly felt the need to control the process fully. My sister knows now, which I didn't tell her, but we get what we get, and it was a little awkward in the beginning, but now I'm fine with it. My parents on the other hand don't know yet. I think I mostly hesitated at the prospect of them asking me how I came to such conclusion, and which girls in my life weren't friends but more, and all that awkward stuff that I like to keep private. Other times I just didn't feel like telling them yet so yep)

I stumbled upon the word “bisexual” in 6th grade and it really resonated with me. So I told a friend abt it and they thought it was weird cuz the me they know has always liked boys. I kept thinking abt how they thought it was weird and came to the conclusion that maybe I was just faking it (bruh I was a dumb bitch idk why I thought that). Years passed and I tried different labels and ye, I’m bi. And I have a gf (well ex gf lol). I did spend most of the time hiding it from ppl cuz I live in a really religious city but the thing that made me hesitate to come out is that I thought I was faking it (I was really dramatic back then xjkdmsksiwk) oh, and internalized homophobia. Hope this made sense lmao

See I kinda feel like my mom would be the same. She would wonder how I came to the conclusion of being a lesbian even though I've had very little contact with anyone recently. I transferred to home school for high school and since I've graduated I haven't been very socially active. I know my father is homophobic so he's out of the question, but my mom is super accepting and I know nothing would change but I don't want anything to be awkward or feel different. You know?

OMG SEE. That's a huge part of my problem. I haven't socialized much recently to be able to really experience anything, ESPECIALLY dating another girl. I honestly truly believe that I'm probably gay (lesbian, I prefer gay though). But there's this growing voice in my head that tells me that I'm fake. I feel super dumb considering I'm almost 20 but damn. I don't feel the need to hide it, but I don't wanna come out and then be unsure of myself the whole time.

Yes, I totally get it! It's like my parents are just very likely to be like "hey, so is she your friend, or are you like dating?" about any girl I invite over or stuff like that. And yes, my dad is like the type to be just like "sure, okay," but my mom is like more into details and "oh, can I meet them, or can I see photos, or how did this happen, how did you know she's into girls too, is she bisexual or she a lesbian" and stuff like that. Plus, I'm also very affectionate, so I hug people a lot, and it just so happens that a lot of my close friends are girl, so as you can guess, I'm constantly touchy and close with them. And while I know that my friends or parents are not homophobic, I don't want it to be awkward, like I don't wanna explain that "hey, I'm not into you, I'm just craving human touch to feel safe and loved." So, yeah, it's really weird for me)