Damn I know how you feel....especially the aspect of not being able to sleep and living in constant fear....one time I started sleeping on the hard floor so I won’t be too comfortable enough and hear when she’s approaching I’d quickly wake up and just wait for her to come in my room and do whatever she wanted and in that discomfort I caught pneumonia and even in that I never stopped I ended up attending college and still couldn’t sleep on a bed.....it’s terrifying living in fear and abuse
Constant fear, anxiety and being silenced is what made me stay in the house to avoid some sort of trouble. If I was near other people or friends he would be somewhere watching and listening. Even through high school he constantly reminded me that if I had told he would stick to his promise from years of saying he was gonna hurt my mom and sister. Everyday he would come check my phone, beat me for not cleaning up his messes, and even on Christmas days I would be left outside in my shorts and socks since my mother was at work. Shit like that will break people..and it broke me to the point that I am constantly wanting to die because who wants to date such a baggage burden right? I’m surprised I even lasted this long but I’ve been falsely telling myself that maybe my reason is to uplift and save so many like me into believing that they can find love and happiness unlike me
I’m so sorry....if it’s any consolation just know that there’s someone out there for you and I wish you all the happiness in life because you deserve it and please don’t ever hurt yourself because I understand and I feel you....you are loved don’t forget that okay Period
I’ve been reading these comments and almost majority of y’all have been inspiring. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s hard to ask for help because a lot of times that worsens the situation when an outsider gets involved with family matters. That’s how it was with my step-douché and having to constantly be in fear whenever I was home. Interruptions throughout the night, hearing those heavy footsteps come up the stairs, the suspense was horrible. I thought no one cared and it proved just how horrible the justice system is too. Going to school was like outside time from jail but I knew that I didn’t have anywhere else to go but back to that same home. Me and Shinji are one of the same but anyways I just wanna day thank you for those who actually want to help. Standing up to others for us makes our heart melt and the small things like talking about revenge and caring about us as human beings and not objects; you have already won our hearts.