Responses
Not denial. More on confused and he can't really tell since there's no one to compare. SH is his first in everything, forget being forced; sex, kiss, affection, respect at some point, special treatment almost all the time. So yeah, he thought he love him but how can he really tell when no other were treating him the same? More like suspension bridge effect.

spolier!
can we discuss NK. speech so he thinks he is not in love with SH but just liking that he gave him affection ? is he in denial ?