Hi shadow your story is really heartt breaking... It came to my knowledge recently that the smallest thing can mess with our head and our behaviour especially when we are a teenager and by messing us up i mean having some relationship issue like you say you have and girl i totally understand... You need to talk to somebody and i dont understand why people react like that when you told them... Maybe you didnt adress the right people... I do hope you find somebody who you can talk to and pour your heart and that will heal your relationship issue... I hope im not overstepping my boundaries saying that but i really hope you can overcome that
You aren't overstepping anything! I appreciate the love! ^.^
-Shadow
I've been in a similar experience as you in my life but with a male and a female so it really made it hard for me because from it I had a lot of problems with low self esteem and hating myself etc and I had a fear of both men and women for a very long time. I'm still trying to help myself and get more confidence to overcome a lot of the problem that i'm now facing because of what happened to me.
i hope you and your brother get help one day. you sound like a brave person and i hope you find a man you can trust one day. you did the right thing by putting distance at the time. but i hope one day you two can go back to being the siblings you used to be. your brother was young and confused, we all make mistakes.
Honestly, something similar has happened to me a few years ago, minus the whole "I'm not better than my younger brother" thing...
When I was 14, I caught my brother masturbating to pictures of me that he had secretly taken of me in the shower...
Granted, I didn't "ruin him" for it... but at the time, I completely cut him off, and I still don't trust him after 7 years...
Not only was he my younger brother, but he's also my younger fraternal twin brother, so going from being so close, to so distant all at once... just... kind of traumatized me, permanently.
Now after 7 years, I still don't trust men, I still don't trust anyone my age, and I still don't trust people IN GENERAL since everyone that I went to for help, back then, either shamed me for being part of an "incestuous affair," or they told me that I needed to contact child protective services to have my brother taken away... Let's get this straight. No matter what he does to me, he is my brother, HE IS MY TWIN, and I feel that he is a part of me... so I will NEVER do ANYTHING to hurt him like that! Sure, I beat the ABSOLUTE SHIT out of him... and nearly cracked three of his ribs, broke his nose, and sprained his ankle... but I would NEVER EVER let anyone else TOUCH A HAIR on his head!
My mother put off having surgery to remove a cancerous tumor in her liver, JUST TO MAKE SURE WE MADE IT TO TERM during her pregnancy! She could have DIED she wanted us so badly! Like hell I'll ever do ANYTHING to break his heart and shatter the soul my mother risked her life to give birth to!
He can't undo what he did, but once you do something like the older brother did in this manga... neither can you...
-Shadow
#RealTalk #ExposingAPieceOfMyHeart #PastExperiences #PastTrauma