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I hate this fucking trope

Tima August 18, 2023 7:00 am

I REALLYYY hate the "I became gay because women are bitches" trope. Especially for a story that takes itself so fucking seriously.

Honestly, I hate a lot about this and so much of it goes back to the fact that this thing takes itself so seriously.

Ok, so you, personally, don't want to be out. Ok fine, it's all good. Opening hating on the gay guy for daring to be out, only because you personally don't want to be out. That's fucking annoying, like super fucking annoying.

Acting like hiding your relationship is just because "that's just what I prefer" is fucking bullshit and everyone can smell it from a mile away. When a character challenges them on it, well it's because 'he's projecting his own insecurities'. To act like the character's homophobia has nothing to do with this, that he is in fact just this way and its fine and no introspection is required, and YOU'RE wrong for questioning his choices, it's awful.

This thing takes itself too fucking seriously and it sucks for it.

Responses
    drops August 18, 2023 8:13 am

    I agree with parts of this comment, especially the "traumatized by girls" part, but also in regards to being out, I think you need to take into consideration that this is made in a country where you'll get less opportunities, less connections, and shunned/gossiped about by everyone you know for coming out. Things are becoming more lax but nowhere near where the western world is in terms of acceptance, and there is still work to be done in the western world too. The guys annoyance comes not necessarily from the other dude being so open about it, but more because of having to see all the negative attention it gains as a reminder. Not saying he's right to say the things he did in the first few chapters, but it's clear that by the end he is okay with his boyfriend being openly gay, he just can't do it himself for the time being. I think bringing up how the childhood friend who thinks it's wrong is projecting (and they also made him a rapist lol) is a good point though; objectively, having a dynamic where one person is left wishing they could be open about it forever is unhealthy. I don't think the story is saying that they'll never be out as a couple though.

    drops August 18, 2023 8:16 am

    At the end of the day tho the story is just not very well written lol so I'm not tryna defend it with my life or anything, it's moreso just the reasoning behind why it makes more sense coming fron another country; you kinda see that topic come up in like most gay romance in Japan

    Tima August 19, 2023 6:01 am
    I agree with parts of this comment, especially the "traumatized by girls" part, but also in regards to being out, I think you need to take into consideration that this is made in a country where you'll get less... drops

    No, like I totally get what you're trying to say but there is no narrative justification for ml's decisions. Mc is out with no negative consequences as a result. If we are to place our own world's values and issues in this story then it would be more jarring. Homophobia is not even a consideration within this story, in fact the closest to homophobia we see is within the ml himself. So either bring up homophobia as a reason for him being so deeply closeted and contend with it in the narrative or ignore it and have a gap in logic and motivation. We as readers are aware of homophobia and are making justifications for the characters that are completely nonexistent within the text itself and at the same time we are aware that a similar plot 100% would not exist within a similar heterosexual story.

    I don't fault the ml for not being out. I am also closeted because I currently live abroad in the Middle East, being out isn't an option for everyone and I know that. But I hate his claiming of it as a neutral choice or even as the superior one, one that is also not allowed to be questioned or kept in context of society. He hates that mc talks opening about being gay and again this thought is reaffirmed even after they enter the relationship 'well at least he isn't talking about it out loud now'.

    I guess mainly, I've been really put off by the homophobia I've been reading in mlm romances (weirdly, not as common in wlw romances). I've been questioning the intentions and beliefs of the authors. Are they speaking from their own experience? Or is this how they believe gay people should act? Closeted, quiet, and out of people's faces. That infuriates me. As a message within media that profits from queerness it feels icky to say the least.

    Anyways, I did get a bit heated but thank you for your thoughts and for having this discussion with me!!

    Tima August 19, 2023 6:01 am
    At the end of the day tho the story is just not very well written lol so I'm not tryna defend it with my life or anything, it's moreso just the reasoning behind why it makes more sense coming fron another count... drops

    Honestly, you're right this thing is not that well written