To be honest(idk if maybe it stems from my inexperience) but i think she's valid and it's not a trauma response.
I think even if she settled in him, and saw him as the future father of her children i feel like that inevitably leads to thinking about like realistic relationship goals. Like if they live together, how will they afford it. Essentially, it circles around to income, and jobs and what he's gonna do with his degree.
Which, understandably, he isnt really ready to talk about/unsure.
But i think from her perspective, it just feels like he isnt putting any thoughts of their future into reality sort of. Like he's kinda just optimistic "that things will work out" with no plan (which is also understandable) but it can be viewed as negative/flippant.
Kinda the idea of making empty promises. Like without showing or telling some specific steps to fullfill that promise, then it's essentially an empty promise. Similarly, he's not actually solidifying any steps to their shared goal of a future stable life together
I think she definitely went about the talk the wrong way, and was probably just pressuring him in a bad way unintentionally. This is probably the shortcomings she was talking about, amongst other like moodswing related things. But otherwise i think her concerns are reasonable
I like your viewpoint but she definitely didn’t see jaein as the father of their children or her partner for life. All of her thoughts of the future is mostly just about her and her personal goals; learning a new language and moving abroad for work (progress). From the beginning she acknowledged that it would be different because he’s younger but again she placed unrealistic expectations because of her trauma from her ex (“I will be more selfish”). Her concerns would be 100% reasonable if she were dating a man the same age but she’s not. And I don’t remember them ever thinking of this as a 25+ year relationship at all, it was a in the moment happiness type of relationship until she started seeing what life could hold just for her (moving abroad). But again, It’s not reasonable to expect a >25 year old to have it all figured out.
Ngl i see your point here, because the scenes with her and her expected future don't really have him in it. But at the same time i feel like he was definitely like thinking about their long term future. Considering the way he was upset when she was talking about how she wouldve been stoked to work abroad( and how she wasnt really thinking about the impact on their relationship).
So that is to say, im majorly confused about how they both viewed that relationship. (⊙…⊙ )
On one hand he was a major simp and i feel like that definitely means he saw it long term but his behavrior could arguably be short-termed(not taking concrete steps). Whereas she was not as much of a simp, is older probably more prone to thinking about marriage and long term, but arguably was thinking their relationship was short term.
Perhaps youre right about both of them just living in the moment more(aka both short term) but i feel like theres some discrepancy in terms of how their goals were portrayed and how their characters were protrayed.(￣∇￣")
Definitely but at the same time when I say in the moment, that doesn’t mean short term. It means that every moment should be cherished not the ideas of one that haven’t been done yet. Jaein is still in school so hearing her think about moving abroad made him think that she isn’t thinking about what she has now and what she might lose in terms of the relationship. Jaein isn’t perfect by all means but they failed to realize that they are people who live two very different lives mostly because of age. Jaein isn’t established and grounded like Noah who has an office job and that’s something that was talked about in the beginning stages but left alone because they truly liked each other. But now, Noah is realizing that there’s more offer in the outside world so she can truly live it.
The only thing is, she failed to remember that she was also in a relationship so whether she liked it or not someone else’s feelings and essentially livelihood came into the picture.
But yes they were honestly on two different mindsets and wavelengths from the beginning to the end.
I really do love your pov though thank you :3
Honestly. I def agree with this point. Ig it just stemmed from some fundamnetal lifestyle differences.
It was lovely analyzing this with you! I love having these convosヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
ON A SEPARATE NOTE. OMFG THAT WAS SO SAD THERES NO WAY THAT JUST HAPPENED. I CRIED ╥﹏╥ THAT LINE OF "Even someone so lovesick....." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LITERALLY BLASTING THE PERSPECTIVE THAT AS LONG AS YOU LOVE SOMEONE IT'LL BE ALRIGHT. AND HOW SHE WAS LIKE "even when you yelled at me and walked out on me, i never thought of breaking up" FKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THATS SO SAD. HE GAVE UP FIRST EVEN THOUGH HE'S THE SIMP ╥﹏╥
LMFAO NO CAUSE I can understand but at the same time I thought this was fr endgame and I hope it still is after reflections on both parts.
But yes! I love having conversations like these! It’s so hard to find someone to talk to about analyzing stories because people just love to argue.
“Embrace my shortcomings” when all she did was treat Jaein as if he were a child with no sense of direction. Noah has a lot to learn but most importantly heal. She jumped too quick into another relationship and all her insecurities led to her thinking she was maturing when in reality she was just applying overwhelming expectations on jaein that she actually wished she could have done to her ex. Jaein wasn’t perfect by any means but he really tried with communication and understanding and most of all trying to live in the moment. That’s what makes a relationship and noah failed to realize again that it takes two. In my interpretation I see it as a mirrored picture of her relationship with her ex but this time she was the one not putting that much effort but if analyzed properly, it’s because she wasn’t awarded such reciprocation the first time around so her demeanor now is understandable. But again such demeanor shouldn’t be negatively affecting a relationship for that specific reason. It’s not your partners job to heal your trauma.
This could go two ways were they reconcile and heal together or Noah decides to clear things up but decide to stay alone to figure herself out. It wouldn’t be fair to to be mad at her for thinking about the future because it’s her life, but once someone else enters the picture, you also need to be considerate of their feelings. So overall, it would be good if Noah decides to go alone and heal alone.