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Chapter 1 - laid on too thick

Tikky March 7, 2024 6:41 am

Seriously, you can't try to tell me they naturally changed. It's way too obvious that they have fallen for some magic or shit like that. A charm maybe.
Depending on how it is explained, that will lead to certain problems, which is why this trope is where intrigue usually goes to die. Because, aside from those who just want to hate on a character, you can't really fault a character for falling for something like that. Magic would stand above natural feelings and I hate how people always pretend that just because it might be a generally strong character, that they have no right to let themselves be manipulated and are thus to be held accountable for doing things beyond their will.
I have seen this so many times, but only one (really great!) story did this in a good way. You can still hate the backstabbing bitches, because the story stated firmly that the potion used on them could not meddle with their common sense, but only unveiled their hidden emotions of envy, inferiority and whatnot, which had already been there. (Manga: "The One Within the Villainess")
Here, maybe it's like this as well, but my hopes aren't very high for that. Maybe they aren't actually manipulated, but my hopes are even less for that one.
It's super anticlimactic to end on a note of guys despairing (which we still hope for, since that's what revenge stories are built upon) after you find out they were victims themselves.

Now, in case it wasn't obvious, I literally only read the first chapter, so this is to be taken with a grain of salt. But I instantly felt annoyed at the start of the story, which is never a good sign. We'll see.

Responses
    aries March 7, 2024 8:21 am

    i love people like you lol. i very much am enjoying a story like this where it’s kinda rough on both ends cause they’re obviously being manipulated with magic but come off as terrible people although they are victims themselves. i don’t care how many times i have to read the same plots, it’s always intriguing.

    Tikky March 7, 2024 8:49 am
    i love people like you lol. i very much am enjoying a story like this where it’s kinda rough on both ends cause they’re obviously being manipulated with magic but come off as terrible people although they a... aries

    I think it just feels empty. It's useless to be angry at someone and wish them whatever, like some comments I've seen on the first page, when you know it's not actually their fault. It's not even "hardship on both ends", because that would be if they were of sound mind and had done what they hwd to because they couldn't change it. In that case, they still chose to do it and not even secretly let her in on it, thus they made their bed and now they have to die in it.
    But in this version, someone else makes them do things, they can't even choose, thus the protagonist suffers from their actions in one instance, while they already suffer because they have their free will taken from them. Afterwards, when they are being released, not even mentioning whatever repercussions they might face on other occasions, they will all be in pain over the loss of protagonist, who was important to them, so they suffer again, because they never slighted her out of their own will, while MC will be over it at that point and likely remain the victim that everybody has to apologize to - while conveniently forgetting they were victims before she even became the collateral.
    While details depend on the story, it always goes the same. A story like that is readable, sure, but there's just a fart left were there was once suspension as to how we will kick their asses later.
    But in the end, that's my opinion; I'm no fan of this. If you like it, go for it, lol.

    TaesWife March 8, 2024 7:11 am

    I was literally thinking of The One Within the Villainess while reading this

    Tikky March 8, 2024 8:09 am
    I was literally thinking of The One Within the Villainess while reading this TaesWife

    While reading the story or the comment? xD
    Well, anyway, now that I've read a few chapters, it's clear that I was right. You can even see scenes in which they realize their true feelings and feel confused and restless, then the blonde bitch is all over them and we are back to square one. They just aren't actually bad guys.

    I'm E March 8, 2024 5:49 pm

    I read your recommendation and it was amazing, literally couldn't put my phone down u till I finished, please recommend me more!!!

    TaesWife March 10, 2024 4:23 am

    I thought of it while reading the story so it was nice to see another fan of the story . I feel bad for the guys but like

    tikitiki March 10, 2024 6:30 pm

    Nah I totally agree with this EXCEPT FOR in the case of Ian. The other too guys tho they were blunt and cold they weren’t mean or vindictive. They never said anything straight up mean about her or too her fr. Ian has been hostile since the moment she woke up

    Tikky March 11, 2024 12:45 pm
    Nah I totally agree with this EXCEPT FOR in the case of Ian. The other too guys tho they were blunt and cold they weren’t mean or vindictive. They never said anything straight up mean about her or too her fr.... tikitiki

    Especially Ian, I think, is likely the most affected. He's around her a lot and he seemed to have had a more hot headed nature to begin with, as he yells even at grace that one time.
    But he's the guy she would have had to manipulate the most and she's the most around him. When she wasn't around, the other two woke up a bit, before they went back to how they were in a second when the bitch showed up. As the story stands, it's likely not to be his fault. Unlike the rule in "The One Within...", they are obviously brainwashed here, because they show all the signs of it.
    But anyway, this story is a lost cause. Basically every character shown has the intelligence of a dried walnut.