Something

Something that makes me lose my mind upon reread is how, like, contextualized Klaus’s behavior is when you’re faced with the way he used to interact with Taki in the past. Like he worked really hard to either see through Taki’s seeming lack of desire but also helped him come into his own as a person who feels and wants things, and so much of that is built on Klaus’s ability to infer and telegraph what Taki wants or needs without him verbalizing it. Like their first kiss/first time they had sex Taki doesn’t talk and Klaus just kind of takes the lead and understands what he wants implicitly. Taki will never say yes or no for himself so he relies on Klaus knowing that for their romantic interactions. Consent isn’t something verbalized in their relationship, because Taki has been both raised to have no concept of his own desires and raised with the inability to voice his dislikes/things he doesn’t want. He’s essentially been groomed since childhood to be a vessel filled with other peoples’ wants and not a person—he will say no or yes so long as it aligns with self sacrifice and greater good.

And the first time we see them have sex is when Taki has just been told that he shouldn’t cry over his soldiers because he’s the maiden rose, and then Klaus tells him to go to his room and they have really violent sex. It’s so fucked because Klaus is like once again accurately reading Taki’s desires—to have intimacy (both sexual and non sexual) with those around him but is lacking important context about what Taki’s role is…especially be cause he (and we know later) that in terms of physical prowess Taki could totally kick his ass if he wanted to…and like the way I interpret it at least is that Klaus’s mindset is like “he’s stressed out and in his own country so he’s being extra resistant to what he wants, so I’ll be a little more forceful because I know him so well” but as the months progress proceeds to get angrier and angrier and loses himself. And it isn’t until Taki says sorry and bleeds/passes out later that he realizes he like severely fucked up and is completely out of his depth…because he’s only been in situations where Taki has wanted something and not permitted it, but now he’s in an environment where he’s not wanted something and permitted it (though that in and of itself is complicated on Taki’s part) and is becoming the thing he hates most…and Taki allows this because he feels guilt for the one selfish thing he did (agreeing to Klaus becoming his knight while also not communicating to him what that means because he wants love) and knows he’s hurt him as a result so just takes what he thinks of as punishment…AUGHHHHHHHHHH *rips out hair*

AUGH MAIDEN ROSE IS SO GOOD THEY JUST DON’T DO IT LIKE THIS ANYMORE. LIKE HOW FASCINATING IS IT THAT KLAUS HAS SWAPPED PERSONHOOD IN HIS HOME COUNTRY TO BE OWNED BODY AND SOUL BY A MAN WHO IS OWNED BODY AND SOUL BY HIS COUNTRY, WHO USED TO LOVE KINDLY BUT SINCE GOING TO WAR CAN ONLY SHOW CARE FOR EACH OTHER VIA VIOLENCE BECAUSE THAT’S ALL EITHER OF THEM ARE NOW?? VESSELS FOR WAR?? NOT PEOPLE??

WHEN DID BL STOP MAKING ME WANT TO WRITE ESSAYS AND ANALYSES ABOUT THE MESSY EPIC INTRICACIES OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND START BEING 2 DIMENSIONAL. RAPE IN BL USED TO HAVE A BIT MORE NUANCE BC IT WAS TREATED AS AN ACTUAL ELEMENT BEYOND A QUICK KICKSTART TO PORN SCENES, BL RELATIONSHIPS USED TO JUST BE MESSIER AND MORE COMPLICATED AND MORE FUCKY WUCKY WITH THE POWER DYNAMICS.