CAN SIEMONE PLS HELP ME FIND A BL!! its an mc who has ocd and is obsessive with cleanness ...

CAN SIEMONE PLS HELP ME FIND A BL!! its an mc who has ocd and is obsessive with cleanness and then i think the lover to that mc helps him with his obsession and when he was a little kid he had another dude who was way much older than him obsessed with cleanness too, and aparantly that dude became a writer later on in the manga? I HAVE IT IN MY ALRDY READ LIST BUT I CANT FIND IT BRUH I HOPE YK WHAT IM TALKING ABT