now days do gl competitive with bl manhwa or what lol

I mean I can see why since bl’s are more popular than gl’s and since most popular bl’s are like this I can see why they made it like this-

Well yes and now days they both focus on opposite gender
Like yaoi made for mostly girls
And yuri made mostly boys
Yaoi is famous because mostly girls watch bl but incase of boys they watch hentai mostly so yuri is their second preference

But I wish there's more irl story sometimes and nontoxic and hardcore bdsm
Thought I'm ok with fetishes and kinky roleplay but seeing too much hard core is not my cup of tea

that isn't really true, most yuri especially the ones focusing on romance tend to be more read by queer women/people. Also Yaoi and Yuri aren't parallel to each other because yuri that was written by women (who were probably queer) was started and got popular among them, while yaoi might have started with gay men but got popular by straight women.