Was divorce not an option??
You'd better cut all ties with him, emotionally disconnect from him and come to terms with the fact that he will never ever be a father or a decent person and there's nothing you can do to change him (it's not up to you, it's up to him and he will never be a better person), so accept the fact that you will never have a loving father like in these manhwas (unless ur mom remarries but it still won't heal the hurt you went through). But that's okay, life is unfair. You may have had the worst father, but there may be other good things in your life that you could be grateful for.
Idk, my therapist said that where there is light, there is always a shadow. One cannot exist without the other, so even if you have bad things happen in your life, there will always be some good in it. The important thing is to look at both sides. And not to dwell in the unfortunate and bad things happening in your life.
"Why is it only me?" kind of thinking won't help you a bit. It'll further drown you in a victim mentality. It robs you of your strength to take ownership of your life. The best thing you can do is give up. Give up hoping for a loving father, give up wanting to have a normal family like everybody else. If you can do this, it'll help you accept your life the way it is and move on.
P.S I said all this bcs I relate to you.
I also had a fucked up childhood, alcoholic, violent father who beat the shit out of my mom, cheated as well. Then my mother turned out to have narcissistic personality disorder, and mentally, emotionally abused me until I ran away from home at the age of 20. Then, there's my older brother who beat the shit out of me, didn't treat me like a human being.
Now I'm 26, diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, and a bunch of complex trauma that I can't resolve on my own. Can't tell the difference between reality and my imagination. Can't hold a regular job, have anxiety and major depression and all.
I was medicated, and received therapy and did a lot of healing on my own. But the trauma feels too deep to heal completely. It always creeps up. But I know I can overcome this. My life has been fucked up and but there were so many good things that happened as well. I know I deserve to live a normal life. So do you. There is hope out there. There's more to life than being a victim of our lives. So yeah, if you've had traumatic childhood, go seek a psychiatrist and a therapy. It really helps.
Only you can heal yourself, so work on yourself. Anywyas, have a nice day!
this reply is actually so sweet, I kinda thought that it would be a mean one when I got the notification haha it scared me a bit.
divorce isn't really an option where I live because divorced women are viewed as "slutty" and "available for men" so she had to stay and endure the mental and emotional torment.
I've cut all ties with him despite him trying to manipulate me into staying on good terms with him
oh my gosh I'm so sorry to hear that, reading this really breaks my heart! I hope you're in a better place mentally and physically, you deserve to be happy and I pray to every power in the world that you get to be truly and purely happy and at peace
I relate to you. Fucked up father's and all. Mine has gambling addiction and my bought us up all on her own. It's sad when your earliest memories are fighting and trauma. Gives you a melancholic air of a life you never lived. But you know @nyx is right if you are given bad things in life you are given good as well. It could be your talent. Your friends or pets some silver lining. Don't Dwell on things you can't change but I do encourage you to reconcile with your trauma. Grieve for your lost childhood. Cry for the girl no one else cried for and her know. That she is alright and that she will be loved and be safe and be happy. That child deserves it if not from someone else then from her future self. You got this champ.
Ohhh that's terrible. I'm guessing you live in a patriarchal society? Hmm, It makes me so mad to know that women are still treated as a 'lesser' being born to serve men in some parts of the world, and are only worth something if it involves a man. ☹☹
I'm glad to hear that you've cut all ties with him!!! That piece of trash doesn't deserve a sympathy or be treated with respect just bc he's a 'father'
I hope you have other valuable people, memories and things in your life that you are grateful for and makes your life worth living.
I'm crying in daddy issues and not the romanticised version you see on tiktok, I'm crying because I have a father who never loved us, smoke around us all the time when we were younger, beat us, belittled us all the time, never worked hard for us instead my mom had to pick up a job 7 days a week 12 hrs a day, cheated on her, stole her money and ours when we got older and landed jobs and now he tells everyone that we're bad children because we don't love him, I don't even feel comfortable wearing what I want when he's around because the way he looks at me isn't the pure gaze a father would look at his daughters with, reading such stories make me so sad because why couldn't I have a father who loved his wife and children? why do I have to look for a father figure in other men when he's alive and is supposed to be one!