My Life

Sounds harsh but you really need a good and hard kick in your ass. Well at least you realized you have to change

Take the acknowledgment of dissatisfaction and motivate yourself to become who you want to be.
There is no single purpose to life. The purpose in life is not a single thing that everyone much achieve, but rather it's a drive and purpose we have shaped for ourselves according to the history of our actions and by making personal decisions.

Because clearly the best thing to do is to go online and ask complete strangers about what you need to do in life....

the truth is, you don't have to compare yourself with your siblings. just live the life like your own, do whatever you want to do, make things happen, whatever is it, as long as you proud of yourself from doing it.

do something that would make you feel proud and happy. Not always like / the same with your sibling.

take your time, think about yourself, your ability, your happiness. not really have to be the same as whats your sibling do, what makes them happy not always makes you happy.

this is why, you must find it. stop looking at them, just try spend your time to look at yourself more, do what you want to do, what you can do and be happy.

it really is sound stupid, naive and weird. but try it. your appearrance, your study(?), your messed life, your fat ass, doesn't make / determine that your life is a bad / tragic life.

you. I mean you, yourself that make your life is a happy life, a great life. or just a so-so life. and again, it's you, yourself who can make your life miserable.

take your time, look at yourself more and love that, whatever you have and whatever you can do. and it's time for you to think about your happiness. not just about your siblings. or something you don't have.

⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ well... I'm embarrassed of myself and I don't have anyone to talk to... and since I saw so many people ask an opinion here.. I thought maybe a stranger will give me some valuable advice.. well not many 'friend' that I have is concern about my life you know.. and most of my current friend is younger than me... so I ashamed to ask advice from them.. if I ask here the only thing I know that we have the same hobbies which is reading a manga btw thanks for the advice..

yeah I should do that.. but I really do thing half-assed and hate myself for not having a motivation to change myself

wow... feel like I'm being scold... but I do agree with your point.. I also sometime thinks like that... that I have to be myself and do things that I love to be happy... it just for one moment when I look back at my life and saw I do nothing that is when I feel the worst... usually parent have a lot of expectation for the oldest one... when I'm in primary school and when my result is just so-so.. I can see my mother feel disappointed with me and just move on to my younger brother which is good since he is so clever always top in his class... I to want to be success in my life.. and I also think that age is just a number,,, being a success doesn't concern your age, it just a matter when will you change.. there's will never be too late to do something... I'm the type of person need to be push and in order or me to stick with it... I need to be monitored my someone to encourage me to change... but I don't have that someone..

when you think that you can't do anything without someone. or you can't keep on living if you have no one. that's normal but it's wrong.
it's true that human need someone to keep on living, there's no one can life by theirself. It's a normal think, but it's wrong. IMHO. CMIIW

be happy and make things happen even if you are just by yourself. even if there's no one beside you yet.

your mother's feeling about your grade, it's her bussiness. she's disappointed cuz she think high of you but that's too heavy for you. it's a normal feeling as parent. it's okay. don't take the burden. that's totally her bussiness.

and now. try it. do something, make things happen even tho there's no one monitoring you, encourage you, change you, scold you. it's lonely, but try it. once you can be happy and can treat yourself dear & better, tomorrow or someday you can love someone. you can give something to someone you love, cuz you know how to love. how to hold something / someone dear.

you can do your best at something you can do. and learn something you want to do. keep yourself busy with whatever you want to do. whatever that makes you happy and be proud of. life is hard, there's hardship, disappointment, frustation, pleased, unpleased, etc etc etc. but do something you proud of and be happy. that's enough. that's good enough. do yourbest at fullfiling your duty, your responsibility, and then, don't forget to do something that makes you happy, anything is fine. as long as that's makes you proud as yourself,

(๑•ㅂ•)و✧ Thanks... I will.. since I already 24 yo.. I also want to change myself to be someone better and to achieve something in my life... It will be hard,,, I know.. there is nothing easy if you want something... Thanks again for giving me a really valuable advice.. may god bless you (●'◡'●)ﾉ

I'm kinda in the same boat. It's comforting in a way to know there are others like this. I just drown my sorrows in anime, manga, and games. I wish I had the answer. I have heavy anxiety and depression as well and can barely interact with people in real life. I went through a phase where my fear of people was so bad I wore sunglasses just to avoid people being able to look into my eyes. If it makes you feel any better I have you beat by 2 years. Also my family while nice for the most part is very much broken as fuck. Divorced, always some drama going on, prison, sibling rivalries, just an absolute shit show. I've considered ending it all several times but fear keeps me alive.

You can be anything, but don't be nothing like that. Is there something that can motivate you? Look closely at the thing that can motivate you (it can be anything) take a simple example, A DOG. You get so happy looking at a puppy or dog, why won't you be a pet sitter or work at pet salon? You also can work under a vet but not as a vet (at least assistant or something). There's unlimited possibilities in this world at this year, it's just that people draw a line of limit for themselves. Be a rebel if you must. At least create a change in your life so you won't feel the same, constant all the time. But if you can, create a good change for the sake of your future. Don't follow the mainstream line such as "marriage". I don't intend to marry in my life because i don't want to. I want to adopt 2 boys as my sons and live with them. Or maybe i won't adopt anyone i mean, i'm fine living on my own for the rest of my life. I was born introvert. Never feel lonely at all. But i do have few friends who will never leave me. I'm grateful towards them :)

Dont be harsh by yourself, i think im introvert same like u, and my introvert become worst when i cant progress my study in university because money
But for me introvert theres always word that can give me courage like "never think ur the only one in this world who have big problem, sometime u must see people in ur left or right who only eat rice and salt or cant eat at all"
This really work to courage me because its happen in real life my friend have a problem and i realize her problem really hard then my problem

Theres no problem to drown all ur sorrows or sadness in manga and anime. I think i have a bit same problem with u.
Because i have a bit fear with people to so i create my fake personality in positive way maybe like double personality?
I never have heavy anxiety and depression so idk what to say about this