Of course women have desires and fetishes, but never the woman will desire the man as the man will desire the woman, it is above all biological, the man's virility and his physical strength and sexual drive because of testosterone, makes the man much more aggressive and dominant compared to the woman, The woman is much less in the impulse and the physical appearance of a man is only one criterion among many others, personality, intelligence, strength, financial situation etc. are equally important, this is why it is common to find very beautiful women with men with average physique while the reverse is much rarer.
the man generally his most important criterion remains the woman's physique, all the rest is just a bonus.
Even today and more than ever, it is men who are willing to pay for sex, not women.
now you talk about yaoi, while it's clearly a fantasy where men are feminized at all levels, so that women can identify with the character, usually the uk, it's a risk-free relationship for women at all levels, no risk of getting pregnant, no virility/masculinity/aggressiveness.
that's why gender is usually read by teenage girls or frustrated women like geek/otaku/incel (meaning involuntary single).
men in yaoi don't exist. even homosexuals find them wtf.
biology explains the root of male/female behavior, and culture/society just accentuates all that, of course there are exceptions, but the world is made of generality.
Something tells me that you haven´t read very good yaois to have that kind of opinion about the genre XD (In my opinion the best BLs are those with realistic characters).
Honestly, I believe that you are wrong in many things (Practically everything), and you take for granted that you are right only because it is a popular belief (which usually happens with social prejudices (-_-)), but the reality is very different.
It seems to me that you underestimate the influence of popular belief (Prejudices) has on people and their behavior, not to say that you are unconsciously discriminating against both women and men (Especially men, you have practically said that they are aggressive brutes that they only think about getting easy sex, and they only fall in love with sexy girls XD).
You mustn´t forget that each person is different and individual, both in their appearance and personality, and that includes their tastes or behaviors.
Not to mention that each person has a different biology that makes them unique (That is why each person is unique).
You have to be careful, because what society tries to do is give an explanation that is convenient when organizing large masses of people so that harmony and organization are easier (hence the traditional roles of men and women) without care about people's opinion about it, since it is the most convenient thing, and if there are complaints, while they are minor, they are ignored, and if they ask for explanations, it is said that it is biology and that's it.
But it doesn´t mean that it is true, so you have to be careful.
By the way, don´t be surprised that there are many yaois have exaggerated to the point of being false just to fulfill certain fetishes of female or homosexual audience.
It is exactly the same with pornography for men, there the body and behavior of women is practically fiction.
(Sad thing is, this is not common knowledge, and many use porn as a reference for real sex)
Of course I am very careful, I am of Norwegian origin, we are the most avenaceous country on the equality between men and women and on the question of gender, we are already the second generation of men and women with a unisex education and yet in our country, the behavior of men and women is more than ever accentuated, 92% of men are engineers and 96% of nurses are women.
We have already done a lot of studies on the issue of boy/girl toys with one-year-old babies and the results were not surprising, 94% of boys choose to play with a stereotypical "male" toy and 90% of girls choose a stereotypical "female" toy, we are doing the same experiments on baby monkeys too.
In our country it is not just a popular belief, and our government supports less and less the "gender theory", only the equality between men and women in law is recognized.
i don't discriminate men or women, i just try to explain why men have stronger sexual impulses than women, and i didn't say that men will fall in love when they see a beautiful girl, it's just the opposite, it will be purely a sexual attraction, to put it simply: man needs to practice sex to love, woman needs to be loved to have sex.
Once again there are exceptions, but the world is made of generality, not exception.
no yaoi and pornography have absolutely nothing to see, pornography is an exaggerated and overplayed male/female sexuality.
yaoi is something that simply doesn't exist, it's pure fantasy, in your opinion why the bara a story between two men much more realistic, has no success with girls who love yaoi? in terms of psychology and sexual fantesie the equivalent of yaoi in men would be more the futanari, hermaphrodite women.
You know that you are contradicting yourself by saying that you are from a perfect country where there is no discrimination or gender prejudice (Do you really think there IS A PLACE IN THIS WORLD WHERE there is no kind of gender discrimination and everything is perfect? XD), but then you yourself think that all men and women are copies of the same gender by seemingly biology XDXD.
For example, the reason there are more female nurses and more male engineers is because it is easier to be a man and a woman in that job due of social influence, not biology. Believe it or not, most people would rather go easy than fight hard to make a difference (I doubt there is the word nurse and engineer in our DNA XDXDXD).
Society predisposes us from children to think in certain ways and to allow or deny us certain behaviors according to our environment, social class, gender, religion, and social orientation (Why do you think most people take for granted that literally all children are heterosexual Christians cis that can be corrupted or homosexualized or transsexualized by "current fashions"? XDXDXDXD).
A good example is the sexual desire of women has always been repressed throughout history (Seriously, everywhere), while the opposite of men has been encouraged or exaggerated (Same thing), and even today It is always expected that it is the man who is interested in sex and has to fight to get it while the woman can sell it as if it was worth nothing ; ) (This isn´t biology, it is social influence).
I am not saying that Norwegian isn´t more advanced than the rest in question on these issues, but from what you are saying, I can see that there is still a long way ahead for them (AND everyone) for true gender equality where be free from social prejudice.
And seriously, be careful, the fucking thing about social influence, is that it is something that they condition it for you since you can remember (Be it a movie, an old and conservative relative, idiotic classmates, a comercial that they are going for the "general audience"), and without realizing it you keep discriminating behaviors that you excuse with "biology" when you are being brainwashed.
And I know that in the world there is generality, but it is also made of individuality and discovery (Even more than generality if we take into account that each person of the entire world population is unique in their own way, both for their place of birth, biology , culture, experiences, etc...), and not everything is an "exception", some things are simply like that, only that it is easier to set established norms and have an easy explanation of the world than to accept that we are all different, why will be? (I ask in a sarcastic voice)
I think there are BL (Boy's Love) works that are incredibly realistic nowadays, be it for comics, manga, anime, series, movies, novels...
I don't just read cheap yaoi manga regarding LGTB XD, so I can tell you that there are many well-written works.
Do you want me to recommend one?
If you are referring to Japanese yaoi for fantasy, then I recommend Boku ga Otto ni Deau Made (Until I Meet My Husband) http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/until_i_meet_my_husband/
This work is an autobiography, so the sad thing is that it isn´t fantasy, and it shows the difficulties and prejudices that homosexual people in Japan go through to find a partner and get married.
In my opinion, women also have sexual desires and fetishes, only they have been more repressed by society since antiquity, since while it was seen as natural for a man to desire a woman, he was seen as "unclean" than a woman Wanted a man, and showed it openly. Even that is still seen today.
And it is true, that we compare what gender is sold more in the sex market, would be the female body. Although men also sell, there is a long time ago and even today a large difference in quantity ... Fortunately that is also changing little by little ... Or rather, society is becoming more open to the male gender as an option sexual. (One example is the Yaois).
Anyway, this shows that when we tend to put a "role" to a gender, as tends to divide society into two sides. In this case, the perverts, and victims; And it can be noticed more in Japan, since their society still tends to create a great barrier between the genres.
The case, it is still not good to sexually harass someone.