This is super long... I have too much free time.

Before I start my mini-novel, for those who've not yet read chapter 20, you can find it in English here → ***. Please do consider buying the chapter from the official website, and supporting the creator of this amazing series! For those of you who can't afford it, etc..., you can simply scroll through previous comments, or so a quick search on instagram/tumblr.

Obviously, there will be spoilers for chapter 20 in this.

Chapter 20 was both the best & worst chapter so far; best in that there was some excellent character & plot development, worst in that in made me sad. I've read it ~ 93045 times now, and I feel like I'm finally starting to get a decent grasp on what really happened. Please do offer any dissenting opinions/interpretations. I would love to hear others' theories!

To start, it becomes obvious in this chapter that, as many people had predicted, Jieun was Sangwoo's “marriage proposal” of sorts to Bum that he's been planning at least since chapter 14 – he's seen texting Jieun and the others, asking if it's ok if he brings a friend to the afterparty. This is following Seungbae's search of his house where he thinks Bum has escaped, that ultimately leads to him telling Bum that they'll “stay together forever”. While it was hinted at several times in the following chapters, this was pretty concretely confirmed later on in chapter 20 when Sangwoo is ranting about how much effort he'd put into that night.

So this brings us to Sangwoo's reaction when Bum says that he doesn't feel anything after killing Jieun. Sangwoo had most likely considered Jieun a romantic offering to Bum – to connect Bum to him permanently. Hell, he basically says so in chapter 19: “then we can finally, truly be together until death”. Sangwoo has been shown to be extremely distrustful – he repeatedly tests Bum, and seems to need frequent reassurance that Bum wants him. While I won't venture to say that Sangwoo loves Bum, he certainly has formed an attachment – he leads a lonely and secretive life, and Bum is the first person to not treat him like a monster after discovering his true nature.

In the chapters leading up to this, Sangwoo is shown to be both extremely excited and nervous. When Bum accepts his “gift” by killing Jieun, Sangwoo is visibly pleased - smiling while watching him stab her. I believe he was expecting Bum to be excited as well, to have been given this gift and to now be bound to Sangwoo, the man he loves. When Bum says he doesn't feel anything, which is probably due to the fact that he just stabbed someone to death for the first time and is in shock (as made obvious by his blank expression and drooling after Sangwoo shouts at him), Sangwoo takes it as extreme rejection. In short, he has a temper tantrum.

Sangwoo is seemingly so upset from this rejection that he has a little breakdown (he looks so sad/disappointed!). He's pretty obviously not thinking straight when he tries to kick Bum out – I don't think this was a test as I've seen some people speculate, I believe he's overwhelmed with disappointment & dejected that he simply wants the source of dejection gone. The comment he makes along the lines of “you don't care about me, so I don't care about you” is so... forgive me, hilariously childish, and is what hammers home to me that the action comes from pure emotion rather than being an attempt at manipulating Bum.

When Bum freaks out and resists leaving, it snaps Sangwoo out of his tantrum – he looks borderline pleased when Bum refuses to leave (“I thought you said you didn't feel anything??”). I think he feels relief that Bum doesn't want to leave him. When he sees Bum hiding under the covers with his... bum (sorry) sticking out, he decides to test the waters again.

To backtrack a tiny bit, when Sangwoo is telling Bum to get out, he gives him his stuff. In his stuff we can see ~the dildo~. Now what's that doing there? Last time it was shown was in the bedroom when Sangwoo had originally brought it from Bum's apartment. The fact that it had made its way to the basement makes me think that Sangwoo had brought it down there with the intention of using it (maybe to consummate their “marriage” after killing Jieun?). This is the one part of the chapter that I'm still fairly confused about – why did he just pretend to have sex with Bum, and use the dildo instead? Again, it was down there, so I'm guessing he was planning on using it from the start. I don't think he was “punishing” Bum by tricking him with it.

When Sangwoo first pulls Bum's underwear down, it shows him with – what looks like to me – a thoughtful expression on his face. Given the rest of the chapter's events, I think at this point he was deciding how he wanted to proceed. He looks to the side, sees the dildo, and makes up his mind. Nowhere in that progression does he seem like he's plotting something – he just looks kind of conflicted. Again, I'm unsure why he doesn't directly have sex with Bum, but I'm personally leaning towards the idea that he's still inexperienced with being with a man, and is still testing his own boundaries.

Now, I've developed a (feeble) theory about the weird sex scene we were treated to that took me several read-throughs to formulate. Like many others, I was kind of confused about the strange positioning both before and after the big dildo reveal. Hands here and there, and then nowhere to be seen, pelvises all over the place, etc... At first I thought maybe Sangwoo was pushing the dildo in with his pelvis to create a realistic sensation and fool Bum into thinking they were actually doing it, but as I mentioned before, I don't think he actually was trying to fool him (at least not maliciously... this time). Then I thought it was just Bum fantasizing about what Sangwoo was doing to him. THEN! After my millionth time reading through, it finally struck me: the colored haze!

Now Koogi has been using the colored haze from the very beginning to give a certain mood to dramatic scenes. In this chapter, notably during the sex scene, the colored haze makes an appearance, but this time it's constantly switching. Sometimes it's red, sometimes it's blue, at one particular point it's purple, and sometimes there is no haze. What I noticed is that the haze, in particular the red seems to correlate with a certain type of viewpoint. I don't think Bum is the only one fantasizing about what's being done to him – I think the parts shown in red are the reader being shown what Sangwoo's fantasizing. (Was this super obvious to everyone else, and I'm just slow?)

Blue haze/no haze is a combination of what's actually happening and Bum's imagination. Since Bum is the main narrator of this story, the two (reality & Bum's interpretation) seem to meld together. These parts generally take a profile view, focusing on Sangwoo's pelvis pressed against Bum. Interestingly enough, these are also the times when we don't see Sangwoo holding onto Bum (Sangwoo seemingly has no arms for most of the blue/no haze scenes). This may be since Bum can't feel Sangwoo holding onto him while he's being penetrated, he doesn't “see”/imagine his hands on him.

Red haze, Sangwoo's imagination, seems significantly more sexual (does that make any sense?). He seems to be viewing what they're doing much more explicitly. The red haze scenes show him grabbing onto Bum by the hips and thrusting into him from his perspective, some low-angle shots of Bum's parted legs with fluid dripping down his thighs, etc...

To me, this clears up a lot of the weird changes in hand & body positioning throughout the sex scene. When Bum turns around, we see that Sangwoo wasn't even kneeling/in a position to be doing any thrusting – he was squatting. It also makes sense when Sangwoo tells Bum he ruined the mood. He had been fantasizing as well, and Bum turning around and realizing they weren't really having sex broke both of their illusions. One final idea I had regarding the fantasizing might be a bit of a stretch – I think when Sangwoo tells Bum that he would never do it without a condom, it confused a lot of people. I've seen posts here & there asking/theorizing what he meant by it, most reaching the conclusion that he somehow meant it offensively (Bum is dirty, etc...) or that he was trying to shame/embarrass. Now, right before that, Bum had been begging Sangwoo to come inside of them. Sangwoo responded with “No” and “I can't”. I feel like rather answering Bum's question “Why?” concerning why he was using a dildo rather than directly having sex with him, I think Sangwoo was telling Bum that he couldn't come inside of him because he wouldn't do it without a condom. If Sangwoo was fantasizing about it, he couldn't think about himself cumming inside of Bum, because he wouldn't do it in reality. This makes what he said seem significantly less insulting. Again, I acknowledge that it's a bit of a stretch, but with the way I've personally interpreted the entire chapter, I don't think Sangwoo's goal is humiliation this time around.

Haze color theory aside, as to what was said while they were “doing it”. At the beginning, it seems like Sangwoo is half pouting, half trying to work out Bum's true feelings. He seems like a sulky kid, complaining about how much work he put into his “gift” for Bum. He baits Bum – if you can't push, try pulling. He stops, and questions whether Bum ever actually liked him (“You were just acting like you wanted me.”). With just one word from Bum, “No”, he resumes. Bum pretty much stops resisting – it obviously still hurts, but the idea that Sangwoo is inside of him arouses him so much that he gets into it.

When Sangwoo comments “this does feel new”, it seems like he's already fantasizing. This is where he transitions from sulking to enjoying himself. He starts insulting Bum – I feel like degrading Bum during sex is right up his sadistic alley. (This might seem to contradict what I previously said about his main goal not being to humiliate Bum, but I feel there's a distinct difference between verbally degrading someone in the heat of the moment, and telling someone they're too disgusting to fuck bareback.) His comments “you like that?”, “you want more?”, and “it's not enough, right?” just carry on the theme of narcissistic sadist. I think it turns him on to think of Bum as subservient and wanting him. When Bum finally says those magic words (“All I want is you! Just you!” and “Stay by my side!”), it thrills him like nothing else. He feels wanted, accepted. Bum finally told him what he wanted to hear, and accepted his “proposal”. The purple haze in that scene could be indicative that it's their shared fantasy (blue + red = purple)?? This part actually struck me as kind of sad. As much of a piece of shit as Sangwoo is, he looks so very happy, desperately so, to have it affirmed and reaffirmed that Bum does indeed want him and want to be with him.

This sweet-ish(???) moment is short-lived though. The red haze takes over almost the entirety of the rest of the scene – if my haze color theory is correct, then he's fantasizing himself penetrating Bum very fervently, thrusting markedly harder/faster while blaming him for all of the murders. I've seen theories that he's trying to manipulate Bum with guilt, or that he truly believes that Bum is the guilty party. I personally think it's a bit of both, but that he's mostly just super excited/riled up. Bum accepted his gift of Jieun and accepted his proposal to be together forever – he finally told Sangwoo that he wanted him and wanted to be with him. They are now bound together forever, and he's impressing the fact upon Bum by making him share/take over responsibility for the murders.

Once the illusion of Sangwoo having sex with him is broken, Bum is hit by the pain full-force. It's clear that Bum is in pain the whole time, but without the mental arousal from believing Sangwoo is inside of him, there's nothing to dull it down anymore. He begs Sangwoo to stop, and tells him that it hurts – he even tries to crawl away. Sangwoo previously insisted that he wasn't a rapist, but he doesn't stop when Bum tells him to. While that's pretty obvious rape to the reader, I don't think Sangwoo sees it that way. When he says Bum is being selfish, I think he's referring back to when Bum was originally telling him it hurt – Sangwoo thinks he put in so much effort for Bum, that Bum owes it to him to deal with a little pain. He follows Bum into the corner when he tries to crawl away, and even demobilizes him by putting his leg on his shoulder (though that may not have been the intention). He keeps going, thrusting the dildo into Bum while he cries. This whole closing part of their sex scene is tinged with the red haze, making me believe that Sangwoo is still very much in the midst of fantasizing. If that's the case, I find it interesting that the final few panels are focused on Bum's crying face whereas before they were mostly focused on his ass.

Anyways, that's my exceedingly long-winded collection of thoughts/assessments/theories about this chapter. I have clearly put waaay too much thought into a fictional story.

If anyone actually read all of my bullshit, please do tell me what you think! Especially about the color theory!!