Today I tried this story. And it was amazing. I totally relate to the mc. The mc and ml both reminded me of me few years ago. Why do grades matter more to parents than their children's life. I haven't been hit by my mom for years now. My father doesn't mind me having good grades. But my mom always wants me to be best. I am an average student but somehow everyone around me is better than me (topper). I know my mom's tactics very well. My mom was comparing me to my neighbours and even my best friend, today. I have no confidence in me. It sucks, I feel very pressurized by her. I have never heard her praise me, no matter what I do I can never make her happy. While she was praising others today, I started to tear up and then she got really angry. I know what the implications of her words were 'others can do it why can't you'. She said 'I was just trying to motivate you'. She hates me crying and has never consoled me. According to her whenever I cry I am trying to emotionally blackmail her. I don't talk much with her so I won't have to hear her degrade me, I just tell her some funny incidents so it won't get awkward between us, but according to her they revolve in my mind and hence I can't study. Whenever I tell her something (like issues) she treats it as if I am lying. Whenever I tell her my mind she'll say I am trying to manipulate her. I am so tired why does treat me like a pathological liar. I got some bank documents done today. According to her it wasn't important but it was a step to a childish desire I had for years. My exams are approaching and according to her I should just study. I am an 80+ student I lack motivation for becoming 95+ student.TBH I am better at solving questions in class than my friends, I grasp things very quickly but something happens during exams. Everytime I get the motivation to better my mom comes and ruins it. Today I told her not to pressurize me otherwise I can't as I lack confidence in myself, it took a lot of courage from me and she told me she regrets giving birth to me. I have so low self esteem that feel like posting it will make me look like I am looking for pity. I am a cheerful person on the outside, I am also a people pleasing person and overly sensetive person. If I actually posted it then it took a lot of courage from. Writing it made me feel better. The only reason I didn't kms is because I fell in love with a show and wanted to do it after the show got completed. I am less depressed now. Although I still feel like a waste of space, useless and my mom proved me right. Unfortunately I have ADHD and a lot of my problems come from that, it sucks that last year I was begging my mom to take me to a psychiatrist and she didn't. This year I found out that only a pill once a day was enough to solve all my problems but I can't even have that because 'it's all in my head' haha. I feel better after writing this. I have a lot of emotions ig, venting helps a lot. I wrote this with tears in my eyes but now by the time it ended there was a smile in my face lol. I just hope I am able to concentrate and study get 90+ and I get into college as soon as possible so I can prove her wrong. As soon as I am away to college I'll go to a psychiatrist. I just hope after I prove my mom wrong, she'll be happy and maybe even say sorry for things she said. Tbh I just want a sorry from her for making me feel like shit. If anybody read it this far thanks for reading it all I am grateful.
Today I tried this story. And it was amazing. I totally relate to the mc. The mc and ml both reminded me of me few years ago. Why do grades matter more to parents than their children's life. I haven't been hit by my mom for years now. My father doesn't mind me having good grades. But my mom always wants me to be best. I am an average student but somehow everyone around me is better than me (topper). I know my mom's tactics very well. My mom was comparing me to my neighbours and even my best friend, today. I have no confidence in me. It sucks, I feel very pressurized by her. I have never heard her praise me, no matter what I do I can never make her happy. While she was praising others today, I started to tear up and then she got really angry. I know what the implications of her words were 'others can do it why can't you'. She said 'I was just trying to motivate you'. She hates me crying and has never consoled me. According to her whenever I cry I am trying to emotionally blackmail her. I don't talk much with her so I won't have to hear her degrade me, I just tell her some funny incidents so it won't get awkward between us, but according to her they revolve in my mind and hence I can't study. Whenever I tell her something (like issues) she treats it as if I am lying. Whenever I tell her my mind she'll say I am trying to manipulate her. I am so tired why does treat me like a pathological liar. I got some bank documents done today. According to her it wasn't important but it was a step to a childish desire I had for years. My exams are approaching and according to her I should just study. I am an 80+ student I lack motivation for becoming 95+ student.TBH I am better at solving questions in class than my friends, I grasp things very quickly but something happens during exams. Everytime I get the motivation to better my mom comes and ruins it. Today I told her not to pressurize me otherwise I can't as I lack confidence in myself, it took a lot of courage from me and she told me she regrets giving birth to me. I have so low self esteem that feel like posting it will make me look like I am looking for pity. I am a cheerful person on the outside, I am also a people pleasing person and overly sensetive person. If I actually posted it then it took a lot of courage from. Writing it made me feel better. The only reason I didn't kms is because I fell in love with a show and wanted to do it after the show got completed. I am less depressed now. Although I still feel like a waste of space, useless and my mom proved me right. Unfortunately I have ADHD and a lot of my problems come from that, it sucks that last year I was begging my mom to take me to a psychiatrist and she didn't. This year I found out that only a pill once a day was enough to solve all my problems but I can't even have that because 'it's all in my head' haha. I feel better after writing this. I have a lot of emotions ig, venting helps a lot. I wrote this with tears in my eyes but now by the time it ended there was a smile in my face lol. I just hope I am able to concentrate and study get 90+ and I get into college as soon as possible so I can prove her wrong. As soon as I am away to college I'll go to a psychiatrist. I just hope after I prove my mom wrong, she'll be happy and maybe even say sorry for things she said. Tbh I just want a sorry from her for making me feel like shit. If anybody read it this far thanks for reading it all I am grateful.