what defines real suffering? what kind of pain qualifies someone as a victim? why does one person’s pain diminish another’s? why are we pitting people’s trauma against each other? i agree that it is important to learn to move forward and that there is a point where trauma is not an excuse, but giving “victimhood” qualifications is just placing unnecessary burden on these people who are already suffering… which also gets dangerously close to implying that people who do not react to trauma “correctly” are somehow deserving of the pain they went through and they should just get over it. we should be supporting people and pointing them towards resources to help them heal and move on, not berate them.
Sure, you can generalize with a broad statement but in the end when try and apply this mindset to an individual you just come off like a dick.
There are people out feel like they have the right to get away with crimes because they've gone through x,y,z, but that shouldn't make you start thinking that everyone can just pick themselves up by their bootstraps. That are two seperate issues and mental health isn't as simple as the preaching the Nike slogan.
Btw faked incompetency based on whatever problems in your life, that's what you call a victim-complex, that's not victimhood. I hate that we have to focus on the term victim so much in general but that's another can of worms. Food for thought.
God you're weird for this one
A person has to want to get better, but they also have to work on it. Relying on others is good—no one does everything alone—but it can’t be the only thing. At some point, effort has to come from within. External support can help guide and uplift, but real progress only happens when the person themselves puts in the work. And if someone is constantly treated like a victim, it can actually make things worse. It reinforces a sense of helplessness, rather than encouraging them to take responsibility and work towards improving their situation/life. Treating someone like they can’t overcome challenges can hold them back more than anything.
And yeah, broad statements are kind of inevitable in casual discussions—no one's out here writing psychological case studies every time they talk. You don't have to analyze everything deeply to have an opinion. At the end of the day, it’s just a conversation, and no one’s forcing anyone to agree.
I'm not disagreeing with you on how a person overcomes their problems.
With that said it's weird that you felt the need to bring this up when ML has no doubt a legit reason for why he "cheated" though, which can't be considered cheating anyway because he clearly didn't consent and was forced into the situation because he is in a abusive, controlling relationship with his sister. He is a victim of domestic violence. That's doesn't excuse his actions but it's a damn good reason for why he went with it and why he isn't bringing it up. It's perfectly normal for people to sympathize. People deserve redemption, that's why they accept the mistakes of others.
Our society has developed to a point where we can afford this type of kindness, I don't know why it has to be such a bad thing.
And it's not a thing of limitless rainbows either. People aren't idiots, when we see we're being fooled by a person that doesn't want to change and doubles down on bs (take Kanye for example) very quickly the tune changes.
Consideration comes before judgement, a perfectly rational human mindset.
I think you’re naive if you believe people aren’t idiots.(sorry if it comes off strongly) Sadly, they are(OH GOD they soo are). Just when you think they can’t get any worse, someone comes along and proves you wrong.
I agree that I might go overboard when it comes to cheating (for me, sex is something intimate, meant to be shared only with someone I love), and yes, consideration is important. But I can’t stop myself from judging this kind of behavior. There’s always another way out, even if you think there isn’t— there is. Sometimes, people just don’t want to see it.
We could go around in circles on this, but I do see your point. I’m just hard on people, and there are certain lines that, for me, simply can’t be crossed.
Dw too much. Honestly seeing the most recent chapter it feels useless to argue like this for a story that's rushing A and B. I also apologize for calling you weird, I'm sure you're a tolerable kind of weird.
just chill out guys. why are you so fucking engrossed in this topic
Because I love rants, it's in my profile
It feels like victimhood is becoming a trend, a badge of honor people wear to explain their problems and milk sympathy. Everyone’s quick to claim it, as if being a "victim" is some kind of identity now. The issue is that when everyone’s a victim, real suffering gets watered down and loses its weight. The true victims are the ones who still fight, who don’t let their pain define them. But now, it’s like people use victimhood as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility or growing from their struggles. It’s a shield that disempowers, leaving people stuck in their pain instead of pushing past it. At some point, it's not enough to just cry about what you’ve gone through. You have to own up, take responsibility and move forward—stop letting your suffering define you.