Responses
Ur perspective is so true because you could relate to it. The situations in the story may seem frustrating to most of the readers (third person POV) but the readers who have gone through similar experiences can relate to it (me too) that it's not as easy as choosing black and white but there's so much grey area when feelings are involved (I'm not talking about cheating and that stuff in any way)
Okay guys… please don’t come for me for this :’)
(Different situation, but somehow similar.)
I realized something after finally seeing my ex again after four years. We lost contact because of the pandemic and because we ended up in different schools, like, two hours apart kind of far. Mind you, we don’t really talk much before the pandemic too, despite being in the same circle of friends, I also distanced myself and respected the girl he was with at that time. A former classmate organized an outing since it’s our final year, and I honestly didn’t expect him to be there until the last minute, or maybe I just wasn’t fully informed. Fast forward to that outing, he kissed me. Don’t ask me how or why, but he was the one who initiated it. What confused me most was that we barely talk anymore, so I never really understood his reason for doing that. I had a lot of mixed emotions during the outing, and it made me reflect on us in general.
For the longest time, really long, like Sooae–Eunhyuk long years apart, with a short relationship when we were young, I thought I never fully got over him. I believed that because his memories still lingered and because he once held a part of my heart. But after that kiss, I understood the truth. I don’t love him anymore. What stayed wasn’t love, it was just memory.
After him, I tried entertaining and getting to know other people, and I assumed maybe he just had a huge impact on me. But all along, it was really me. I built walls because what he did back then scarred me. I never fully gave myself to people because I was scared I’d get hurt the same way again. :)
And just to be clear, that kiss wasn’t some big, dramatic realization. I’ve always been the type to move on easily and just say “it is what it is,” because I don’t waste my time mourning assholes AHAHAHAHA. But still, it helped me acknowledge that whatever remained wasn’t love, just memory.
I still have my walls up and a promise to myself. But I also have someone new in my life now, and things are going well, except that I’m still choosing to focus on myself and my final year.
So what if Sooae kissed Eunhyuk just to figure out how she actually felt? Maybe she needed to know whether the feelings were real or just memories. Maybe she was checking if the spark was still there and realized it wasn’t. Maybe the kiss was less “I love you” and more “do I still?”
Im no bias when it comes to self-understanding, as much as I want to get frustrated with how things are going in the latest chapters. We don’t get to figure things out the second we want to. Sometimes we need to sit in the confusion, make mistakes, and experience things firsthand before clarity comes. Growth isn’t linear, and self-understanding doesn’t happen overnight. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and full of moments where you question yourself, but that’s how you learn what you actually want and who you’re becoming. And honestly, I did get annoyed with how the way she acted, but then I realized I’m also an adult like her. that’s why I can’t be too hard on her. She’s not lost, she’s just learning.
So to whoever she ends up with, I hope they meet her when she’s more sure of herself, and love her for the person she’s becoming.