Something about this whole fandom has been GENUINELY pissing me off for a while and now I know what and why. First I want to address the Eunhyuk & Suae pre time skip phone call thingy, cuz people bend over backwards to excuse Suae not answering when Eunhyuk was literally spiraling. Like yes, she was overwhelmed..so was he?? His dads scandal was blowing up, his whole world was collapsing, and the fandom still expects him to be the emotional rock 24/7. But the moment he needs support and doesn’t get it, suddenly it’s “well she didn’t know what to say ” Babe answering the call IS the bare minimum. You don’t need a perfect speech. You just need to show up. When Eunhyuk pulls away emotionally or doesn’t explain himself immediately, people go: “He’s such a bad boyfriend!”, “He never communicates!” But when Suae ghosts his calls during the worst moment of his life? “She was overwhelmed” “She didn’t know what to say” literally the same action. Same silence. Only one gets dragged for it. And then the second thing OH MY GOD the self-respect discourse. Suae gets dragged nonstop for “lacking self respect” because she still has feelings for Eunhyuk, someone she ACTUALLY dated, loved, shared history with but Dohwa? He got rejected multiple times, knew she didn’t feel the same and still clinged on to her but suddenly It’s classified as “yearning” “devotion” “wow so romantic” LIKE??? That is literally the SAME behavior framed differently because when a female character can’t move on she’s “pathetic” and when a male character can’t move on he’s “endearing”. Dohwa is almost a mirror of Suae but the fandom just refuses to see it because yearning is only cute when it’s male coded. Dohwas behavior is framed as noble suffering while Suaes is framed as embarrassing weakness.
Something about this whole fandom has been GENUINELY pissing me off for a while and now I know what and why. First I want to address the Eunhyuk & Suae pre time skip phone call thingy, cuz people bend over backwards to excuse Suae not answering when Eunhyuk was literally spiraling. Like yes, she was overwhelmed..so was he?? His dads scandal was blowing up, his whole world was collapsing, and the fandom still expects him to be the emotional rock 24/7. But the moment he needs support and doesn’t get it, suddenly it’s “well she didn’t know what to say ” Babe answering the call IS the bare minimum. You don’t need a perfect speech. You just need to show up. When Eunhyuk pulls away emotionally or doesn’t explain himself immediately, people go: “He’s such a bad boyfriend!”, “He never communicates!” But when Suae ghosts his calls during the worst moment of his life? “She was overwhelmed” “She didn’t know what to say” literally the same action. Same silence. Only one gets dragged for it. And then the second thing OH MY GOD the self-respect discourse. Suae gets dragged nonstop for “lacking self respect” because she still has feelings for Eunhyuk, someone she ACTUALLY dated, loved, shared history with but Dohwa? He got rejected multiple times, knew she didn’t feel the same and still clinged on to her but suddenly It’s classified as “yearning” “devotion” “wow so romantic” LIKE??? That is literally the SAME behavior framed differently because when a female character can’t move on she’s “pathetic” and when a male character can’t move on he’s “endearing”. Dohwa is almost a mirror of Suae but the fandom just refuses to see it because yearning is only cute when it’s male coded. Dohwas behavior is framed as noble suffering while Suaes is framed as embarrassing weakness.