Well, so many times it's cheating according to your own moral standards.
For example, often cheaters are called out, and when I ask they say "that's emotional cheating" - btw emotional cheating is NOT a thing. Those people really need to grow up or seek help.
What if your boyfriend is seeing another person but has not gone physical yet, would you not call that cheating or a betrayal? Since emotional cheating is not a thing then would you be willing to say he did nothing wrong and continue on with the relationship?
If I didn't trust him, I would've never dated him. So yeah, of course he can hang out with other people. And of course he has friends and colleagues that he likes and adores (or dislikes and outright hates...)
And yeah, of course I would continue the relationship, because why not? Because he's talking to and drinking coffee with another person?
I don't know if you didn't understand my questions or are dodging it so let me make it very clear. He goes on one on one regular outings with her and calls it a date, buys her flowers regularly, hugs her a bit longer everytime they see each other, texts her words of affirmations and I love you and uses sweet words like "babe, sweetie" and shit and he does not do it to other person just you and him. The only thing is he hasn't done anything physical as in kiss, makeout, sex.
Since all of these in my words are cheating, emotional cheating, but in your words emotional cheating doesn't exist.Will you still be okay with all of this?
Oh yeah, sorry I didn't understand, my bad!
In this scenario he still didn't cheat on me. But we would talk and depending on that decide if staying together makes sense. As I said before, if I didn't trust him, I would've never dated him.
What you describe as emotional cheating is not showing affection to another person but is basically just watching him loving you less and less every day. This 'hugs her a bit longer everytime' is a pure subjective, biased viewpoint for example. We observe the world according to our mood.
And here's the thing: Him loving you less and less can also happen without another person. So yeah, there's no such thing as emotional cheating.
Also I never said I wouldn't be sad or disappointed that it didn't work out.
"just watching him loving you less and less every day." different wording same thing. "Him loving you less and less can also happen without another person." I never said he loved you less, I said he loved you and that girl the same. Oh and in this scenario there is a third person so let's just stick with that "But we would talk and depending on that decide if staying together makes sense" but if it's not emotional cheating, why is a talk necessary and why is the option of breaking it off on the table. Since he did not cheat, he did nothing wrong. There is nothing to be hurt right? He provides you just as much love, he just has an outside outlet for same emotional investment. If the cause isn’t present, the effect shouldn’t happen. If the gravity isn't present, then things falling wouldn't make much of a sense.
"This 'hugs her a bit longer everytime' is a pure subjective, biased viewpoint for example. We observe the world according to our mood." Well what about dates, flowers, words of affirmations? why are we conveniently glossing over such things?
I'm genuinely curious how you'd reconcile calling it 'not cheating' while still treating it as relationship-threatening."
"different wording same thing." Different wording cuz it's not the same thing.
"I never said he loved you less, I said he loved you and that girl the same. Oh and in this scenario there is a third person so let's just stick with that [...] but if it's not emotional cheating, why is a talk necessary and why is the option of breaking it off on the table. Since he did not cheat, he did nothing wrong. There is nothing to be hurt right? He provides you just as much love, he just has an outside outlet for same emotional investment. If the cause isn’t present, the effect shouldn’t happen"
True, I assumed he would love me less and less, if there's no change then there would be no talk, cuz there's no reason for a talk.
"Well what about dates, flowers, words of affirmations? why are we conveniently glossing over such things"
We're not conveniently glossing over such things, they are totally fine.
Think about it, nothing changed, you get the same affection and love and care and presents as before.
Yes you get the same level of affection, love, care, gifts but.....those things are shared with another human being. you are in a monogamous relation while truly not being in one cause your partner is in invested in a parallel relationship. Since there was no discussion in opening the relationship, would you be okay seeing snaps of your bf on a sunday late night date with another female and just smile at it without a hint of jealousy or hurt? You say nothing is changed but isn't the whole dynamic of your relationship changed? He takes you on the same place he took another girl in last night at the same table. Can you just sit there smiling feeling special and chosen? If yes then at this point you are preaching polyamory because a monogamous relation demands sole romantic attention to the partner not a parallel or a shared one. The majority view this as emotional cheating because the sole romantic attention is not just you.
Atp, the only difference between your relationship and that girl relationship is sex. So is sex just the definition of relationship? if not then what is?
Would I be fine with him going out on a day I have no time for him? Yes. I'm happy he didn't have to waste a nice evening.
Would I be fine with him going out on a day we agreed to spend time together? No, of course not. He'd have some massive explaining to do, as to why a, let's say, 33 year old banker is not able to tell in advance that he's not possible to keep the date, no?
And as I said, my partner would have to behave like the grown-up he is, so he wouldn't have Snapchat, so there would be no snap or anything else he'd say about how he spent the evening.
The majority does NOT think of this as emotional cheating, but as being neglected. Different words, again, because different meaning!
And at this point you have to realize that your hypothetical scenario is totally unrealistic, right? He just cannot give multiple people the same amount of love, time and affection as you said how easy it would be.
And even for the case if you can give multiple people the same amount of love, time and affection, a relationship needs more, much more basic things, like human decency, compassion, tolerance and the willingness for compromises and accepting one owns faults.
A relationship is hard work, from both parties. Emotional cheating is not a part of any relationship.
And you know what, this might be the first time i dont feel weird or icked about the Uke being with two ppl. Like, he was fully honest and even talked to the blonde guy when he thought he had slept with his boyfriend. Also, HES NOT ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. So many times it's cheating but there was no cheating here. He isnt in a monogomous relationship with Doha and is just having a good time. Good for him.