PREACH IT. LIKE SUCH A WELL THOUGHT OUT AND PERFECT RESPONSE HOLY.
since ml is older and even a prosecutor (?) i expect him to know better so i put blame on him and i secretly wish mc could come to like that childhood fren of his
YES. Amazing analysis. I agree 100%.
Thank you! You really put my thoughts in order, this is really well written
I think old or young shouldn’t matter if you’re a dom. Being a dom is a responsibility you voluntarily take on. You are responsible for not SA people and not killing them or almost killing them. And yes. He IS a prosecutor so his own job is in conflict with what he did. He puts people in prison for maximum sentence for less than what he did to MC. It puts the whole story into a worse context considering MC lives with him because he’s under protective custody… ML is meant to be his guardian and caretaker and instead drugged him (because alcohol IS a drug) and SAd him. Any tiny amount of sympathy and respect I had for him disappeared with this chapter. MC deserves so much better and I know he’s gay but as a fem switch, I would have gotten him back on track without any of this drama and it breaks my heart to see a sub in this much pain and suffering.
I thought I was the only one who didn't like ML, I've been saying since forever ML is horrid and people have been putting the blame onto MC for the pleasure clogging his mind but the sub is literally the one not in control its the dom dude and the dom is supposed to take care of the sub and is in charge of them and he's taken advantage of the MC time and time again and it's really just pissed me OFF.
Yep! The sub technically is in control but only if the dom listens and is a good dom since subs control the play with safe words but since this dom doesn’t give a shit, it’s pointless. It’s so annoying too because he was pissed at MC for never having a safeword before and now he doesn’t even ask for one? I’ve never really liked him. MC is hypersexualised and it’s probably a trauma thing actually. Right after the event that caused my ptsd, I was hypersexual and just didn’t really care about anything anymore. Apparently it’s the brains way of pretending it didn’t get traumatised by telling you that you enjoyed what happened to you. That’s why I never blamed MC. I just saw him as a fellow survivor who’s in desperate need of ptsd therapy and some platonic love and affection. He clearly doesn’t think he can ever receive that because no one gave it to him. I mean his own parents let him stay with a stranger after he got attacked. That just goes to show you how much love he received in his life until now. My poor sweet baby.
MC wants a healthy relationship with ML AND BDSM without the fear of potentially going over the edge and getting into another trauma inducing incident. He knows he’s got 0 boundaries and he doesn’t even know where to start and he’s still got ptsd so he’s currently just trying to avoid BDSM even if his body and mind craves the pleasure that comes from relinquishing control. We’ve seen times where ML gets overlayed with his attacker during sex. MC is scared and doesn’t know how to tell ML in fear that he will leave him or that he will feel so guilty that he swears off ever touching MC again. He doesn’t want that so he stays quiet.
ML is broken. MC pushed him wayyyy way too far during play and asked too much of him. When ML put MC in the hospital, something inside him died and he started to resent MC for it. He never sought therapy for it however so it’s still inside him and shows up every so often. He wants to be with MC and he wants to do what MC wants of him but he can’t compute that MC has changed. In his mind, “if MC could change this easily, why didn’t he do that for me earlier? Why only now?”. He’s also conscious of the fact that MC has ptsd and yet won’t talk about it or even acknowledge what he’s going through (the meds, the insomnia, the lack of appetite, etc.) and it’s frustrating to him to see “his sub” like that without trusting him with what’s going on. At the same time, he doesn’t really want to know because he would absolutely want to murder the dude who assaulted MC. He’s very conflicted.
The reason why ML assaulted MC was because he thought MC was back to his same old tricks and wanted to do it so that MC doesn’t go to someone else and land up in hospital with yet another case of PTSD. ML has trauma from that.
MC was enjoying it physically but at the same time, he wasn’t because this isn’t what he wanted. ML didn’t listen to him, didn’t ask what he wanted, didn’t set up a safe word, was visibly angry and acting very very aggressive towards MC and last but certainly not least: ALMOST KILLED MC! Putting alcohol directly into the anus and therefore the colon is a surefire way to get alcohol poisoning and it’s so fast and you absolutely can and will die from it. We even see MC scared to death in the scene leading up to it and then we see MC mellow right out. He’s drunk! He got mild alcohol poisoning from that! It’s so dangerous.
As for MC saying he doesn’t think they can continue their relationship, he’s saying that because ML holds too much built up resentment and MC will never learn how to say no to him or safeword or just anything to protect himself. And I don’t think MC trusts that ML will stop at this point. BDSM is a game built on trust. More so than any other relationship. When you put your life, safety and mental wellbeing into the hands of another, they are responsible for making sure you come out the other end better or in the same place you came in. Both dom and sub need to trust each other. Sub needs to trust the dom will never ever harm them for real and will listen when they say “no” or safeword and dom needs to trust that the sub will always say no or safeword when they need it. It’s a mutual trust and rn, neither of them trust each other. They resent each other wayyy too much. MC resents ML for rejecting him which lead to him going with someone else and traumatised and ML resents MC for being so reckless not just with ML but with someone else to the point of trauma. They just need to leave each other alone and get individual therapy and maybe come back for some couples therapy.