I agree that they both had points in this fight, however, I feel like folx are forgetting the context of recent events. Jay already came out to his parents, came out to the local gay community, started a new career, went to court fighting the evil ex, invested a lot of time and money in this relationship, and even got a permanent scar on his face. He has more than proven that this relationship matters to him, that he's truly in love, and that he's ready to take the next step by working through the hard stuff together. Garam, on the other hand, has past trauma that is constantly informing his decisions rather than addressing the here and now. Because of this, Jay has always been walking on eggshells to avoid Garam blowing up at him over typical relationship stuff. Garam is the one shooting this relationship in the foot by being rash and quick to anger, because he has no confidence or trust in others.
I do think Jay should have talked with Garam before outing them to his friends, but I do understand his point. The lies were only adding stress on their relationship. Plus, it sucks when you're out but your partner wants to stay in the closet indefinitely--that can be a real deal breaker.
When it comes down to it, this break was inevitable. Garam never truly opened himself up to this relationship and was never equally taking emotional or social risks. And just leaving entirely...that's fucking immature and hurtful. He can try to justify this as him doing what's best for Jay, but that's bullshit. Jay was right. Garam has no right to mansplain his own feelings back at him. Garam leaving is for Garam only. He's the one who's scared and chose to break the heart of someone who truly loves him. I'm looking forward to this chasing arc. I hope Jay stays out and flirts with other men while Garam reaps what he's sowed.
I agree that they both had points in this fight, however, I feel like folx are forgetting the context of recent events. Jay already came out to his parents, came out to the local gay community, started a new career, went to court fighting the evil ex, invested a lot of time and money in this relationship, and even got a permanent scar on his face. He has more than proven that this relationship matters to him, that he's truly in love, and that he's ready to take the next step by working through the hard stuff together. Garam, on the other hand, has past trauma that is constantly informing his decisions rather than addressing the here and now. Because of this, Jay has always been walking on eggshells to avoid Garam blowing up at him over typical relationship stuff. Garam is the one shooting this relationship in the foot by being rash and quick to anger, because he has no confidence or trust in others.
I do think Jay should have talked with Garam before outing them to his friends, but I do understand his point. The lies were only adding stress on their relationship. Plus, it sucks when you're out but your partner wants to stay in the closet indefinitely--that can be a real deal breaker.
When it comes down to it, this break was inevitable. Garam never truly opened himself up to this relationship and was never equally taking emotional or social risks. And just leaving entirely...that's fucking immature and hurtful. He can try to justify this as him doing what's best for Jay, but that's bullshit. Jay was right. Garam has no right to mansplain his own feelings back at him. Garam leaving is for Garam only. He's the one who's scared and chose to break the heart of someone who truly loves him. I'm looking forward to this chasing arc. I hope Jay stays out and flirts with other men while Garam reaps what he's sowed.