I found it easier to forgive him because even in the moments when he claimed to hate her he was still there to take care of her. Like if she needed anything all she had to do was ask. When she wasn't eating he'd stop what he was doing to make sure she would eat, and when something happened to her it felt as though it was happening to him as well. To me his actions showed more of his true feelings than his words. Even though he was telling her that he hated and resented her his actions show that he truly did love her. And also taking into account that he grew up being tortured as a child it just made me realize how emotionally stunted he really was. Also like looking at how complicated everything was because technically she was the daughter of the man he hated most, but he loved her still. So trying to wrap your head around that aspect of it makes it difficult for a traumatized person like him, who already can't emotionally Express his behavior makes more sense.
This is not me excusing his behavior or like saying that it's justified. It's just saying that it helped me understand his character a little bit more and kind of look at him with an open mind.
I really tried guys. I really did. I can't forgive him no matter how much he grew as a person. I have been put in this kind of situation and I am lucky that I have found a husband who showed me what life is but I can never ever forgive the people who made me feel like an object, lesser than... I am happy for her that she found happiness and grew as a person even with him but I can never ever forgive him. I am happy for her even if it's with him.