I think it’s just they had two very different life experiences. Like 2 sides of the same coin, Garam’s past is the tails side of the coin and Jaehyuk’s past is the heads side of the coin. They both don’t understand the other side of their coin and haven’t had any proper communication to fix that. They are both at fault but I don’t believe one is being more selfish than the other. No matter their reasoning for doing what they’re doing it’s both selfish to the same degree in my opinion, Garam’s reasoning is just more understandable for more people as it comes from his past which probably more relatable to more people than the rich lifestyle Jaehyuk has. However, I think people are still calling Garam out more despite that fact is because Jaehyuk is trying to communicate while Garam is not, instead he’s running away with no discussion happening at all. They just need proper communication to where they can both improve and learn how to find the balance between both their lifestyles.
It was about time they had this kind of problem because it's definitely something that's gonna harm them in the future if they don't communicate properly. Trauma like Garam's root deep so it's not about reassurance or big gestures, he needs time for himself, help and grow too. The top's helping but the way he does things are like putting bandaids on deep cuts.
It's gonna be interesting how they handle things, taking into consideration their differents views and up bringings.
Upbringings*
Top really is selfish. Both of them are but Garam has valid reasons. Top always, always, acts reckless and while sometimes that helped Garam to move foward, something that delicate and sensible like coming out, it's not simple and easy for Garam.
Garam also doesn't own anything to the top because the top was acting to fullfill his own desires. He always had that mentality and it doesn't have to do anything with Garam. Top only changed targets and it worked for both of them. He's not perfect just because he threw away his family or accepts his and Garam's sexually. It's a journey and they haven't been that long together. Sometimes all those big gestures just put pressure onto the relationship and Garam has showed time and time again that he's a work in progress.
I think it's hypocritical to be so harsh on Garam and be accepting of the top just because he now is an 'ally' or did that or this for Garam when the was extremely homophobic, a SO the first season and clueless about that world and what means for Garam to be openly gay. They just don't march at the same tempo and that's what makes it difficult.
Both I DO agree that disappearing is never the answer. It just makes your partner frustrated and insecure and Garam should have talked to him in person but he was scared and he knows his boyfriend way of thinking and behavior too well... top wouldn't accept time apart, promise a lot of things to not lose Garam, change his life once again 'because of him' and nothing will be learned. That's not how you grow in a mature relationship.
Both are idiots in that way lol