The one thing that does scare me about jaehyuk is what he did to get that apartment and get garam to live with him. But the things they mentioned this chapter - about his work and family - don't seem that crazy to me. Like, he was never actually serious about the job, and it's pretty common for (LGBTQ+, at least) people to cut off their families because of their prejudice. Like, realistically speaking, any job is better than being unemployed () so it hurts to see, but jaehyuk is one spoiled mf — and while he's never had too many serious fights with his parents before (despite his mom trying, with jaehyuk most things probably just went in one ear and out the other) he's being showing that he wants to be more independent from them for a while now, so if they're ALSO going to be pricks about the person he loves, it isn't too big of a jump to cut contact with them. Although, ofc, I also know it would probably be better to try to have a sensible conversation before any of that...
But anyways.
Garam only has a bone to pick with jaehyuk for doing that because it's something HE would never do, since he prefers to hide and be non-confrontational.
I don't think it is healthy. It is true that gay people cut homophobic friends and family out of their lives, it's also a thing that needs to be discussed if the action you are doing is supposedly for your partner. It should not be "Oh I cut my family out for you" it adds a level of guilt and responsibility on the other partner. Either discuss what they want to do with those friends and family or if you are going to make a decision yourself, don't spin it around on your partner, specially if you know your partner if self-conscious about close personal relationship.
That's why I said both of them suck at communication. It's not just Garam who makes decisions unilaterally, it's also Jh and both have aided for the downfall of the relationship.
No, yeah, I totally agree it should never be "I did this for you"– jaehyuk was kinda crazy for bringing it up like that, now that I think about it – but it is ultimately not a self sacrificial thing (since his parents prejudice affect him and not just garam) so in my mind I can't see why garam felt so burdened by it.
In the end I guess it truly does boil down to how neither of them can communicate things properly
as a gay person who has cut my family off, it’s completely understandable when you actually make the decision yourself and doesnt make it about your partner. even if it’s not self sacrificial, he DID make it into a garam thing within this chapter.
not to mention, jaehyuk is not exactly the most financially responsible and his decision to be out will affect him and garam. i am out, my job will not be affected by that, but i would never force a partner to be out in a homophobic country that could be dangerous for them, especially without financial security.
garam is in the wrong for how he’s handling a conflict, but jaehyuk also seriously terrifies me. it’s not healthy to throw everything for a relationship, it can in fact make you resentful in the future. garam didn’t ask for any of that, and it’s not even positive things.