You worded this so perfectly, it’s like you read my mind. I understand the frustration with how the writing is going, but I’ve seen people disregard garam side so much. Like they haven’t read the entire story whatsoever, and I’ve seen the Korean side of the readers even say they hope to see him harmed for running away. There’s no empathy or nuance when it comes to the story and the readers sometimes
Thank you!! Literally all of this.
I totally get this.
But walking on out someone and leaving a letter is not the right way to do it. That is a very manipulative and selfish decision.
Not defending JH however both put themselves in landmines.
Thank you for your comment. Sorry if I sound too formal, I agree with you on your last sentence however, the second one; does not make sense based on Garam's relationship with Jaehyuk as romantic partners. I know these characters are not real but they actually have real life problems that should not be looked upon in the lens of manipulativeness. It is very different from being selfish. Garam is not manipulative because he never held Jaehyuk against his will to provide for him or to love him even. Jaehyuk is actually just a loving person who wants to spoil Garam. I do understand where you are coming from in using "selfishness" to explain Garam's choice. May not be the best to word it out but it's just he's a practical decision maker, I think it comes from the fact that he doesn't come from money.
I think I am this keen on the conversation because I myself feel for Garam, for being in the same shoes. I just did not make the same decision as him, comes from the luck of having a partner that is willing to talk and communicate. And I denounce that they both need to talk properly, not in a call, but face to face. Leaving the letter was Garam's only option to since he can't really talk. I think a lot of LGBT kids who grew up in strict households knew writing letters to address the situation is a common thing.
I hope we can have a healthy and productive conversation. Have a nice day. (●'◡'●)ﾉ
Thank you for your comment! I am not familiar with kreaders reaction but that's very a harmful way of thinking. I hope they can outgrow that mindset. While this is a work of fiction it discusses real life experiences of LGBTQIA couples, I think that is why I am very eager on commenting. Especially like Garam, I am not out with my parents and very scared to be. Just lucky to be surrounded with friends that are understanding and respectful. I hope more readers practice nuancing.
I agree 100% with all your comments however I don’t want to make it seem he is manipulative by choice. I want to bring up a very important point regarding manipulation that is not discuss much and that is that manipulation can be an unconscious choice. Its trigger by behavioral habits that can be cause by emotions wounds etc. its a defense system to meet an emotional need of/and reducing anxiety and controlling an outcome.
My him leaving without confronting the issues in person, taking all his stuff and just leaving a letter explains his why is manipulating the situation not in his favor to win but to control the situation on his ground.
However, both have very stubborn tendencies and have a hard time meeting each other halfway. JH has a very my way or no way/takes life by the horn lifestyle. While GM has been a very “control the situation” to avoid as much emotional instability and anxiety. Both shape due to their life experiences and personality that was shaped by their home environment. This is what makes them clash with each other.
(I hope this makes sense cause I am running on 2 hours of sleep and I’m trying to see this as a therapist way)
I want to add that the healthiest choice that GM could have done and still get the outcome he needed aka his space. (Not to win)
Was to talk to JH in person and let him know all he wrote in the letter in person even just if it means reading it to JH. Then stood by that ground even if JH choose to not respect it. Now that would fall in the court of JH, if he is mature to give GM space (which I think he wouldn’t but he always surprises me tbh so maybe yes…) and not give that ultimatum as his attempt to control the situation in his favor…ugh I hope all of this makes sense.
Also trying to be as civil and nice commenting back so I hope it sounds as friendly as I think it does.
Yes I understand your points even more! Thank you for expounding it. I really like the conversation we had. Your comment sounds friendly. (▰˘◡˘▰)
I hope everyone who feels like they are pissed off of Garam can remember the fact that he got KICKED OUT of his house for being GAY. He had to work harder because his family doesn't support him and will probably never will unless they magically become understanding and loving parents. Garam had no safe space to be himself other than a few of his friends before he met Jaehyuk. And at the start of their interactions as roommates Jaehyuk was a homophobe before he fell in love with Garam. I am not holding Jaehyuk's past ignorance against him. However, it seems like he still doesn't understand that Garam is acting that way because he doesn't want Jaehyuk to suffer the same situation as him.
Garam cares about Jaehyuk and doesn't want him to be scrutinized just like him. It's just he cannot voice it out directly to Jaehyuk which caused the misunderstanding. Jaehyuk's answer just doesn't work like that .. Garam is being realistic.. he was so shocked when Jaehyuk left his job. Sure, Garam was jealous but he didn't mean Jaehyuk to leave. He just wants affirmation, coming from Jaehyuk's mouth. I hope after their time off, they can talk properly and apologize to each other. Jaehyuk could also address his past prejudiced behaviour, reassure Garam that he has changed and is not judging of people based on sexuality, I think Garam's insecurity mostly comes from that. They need to help each other heal, that is a part of a loving relationship. You owe your partner care and respect.
Losing family is truly hard. And dehumanizing for lgbtqia+ people.
*This is my first mangago comment