Y'all crack me up

Some chick decided to call another chick a bitch just because she didn't like that the other chick was criticizing Riftan. I'm hoping for round two, my money's on the the other chick who was called a bitch.

Lol. We'll need to set up a proper arena for these 2 teams soon if this goes on. Why can't both be right?Riftan is not that complex a character ffs. He can be an asshole and still be a loving husband no? Love doesn't always have to be sweet and gentle, there are multiple ways a person shows love depending on their life experiences.
Look at Asian parents for example. They're an absolute menace to their kids, but there's no one more supportive and caring than them. They know the hardships of being in countries that doesn't fully support its citizens with good lives. They're trying to protect their kids the best way they know how, knowing that the world won't be kind to them. You wish they were more gentle sure but it's not like you hate them especially when you realise that their harshness came from a place of concern. Everyone wants a life full of roses, but roses have thorns too.

I don't think Riftan's character is that one dimensional that either he's bad or he's good. He's rough and rude but also loves and cares for Maxi. His love language is being overprotective and his communication skills suck. Just look at how he talks to everyone around him. He's a tad bit more gentle with Maxi (when he's not angry) but it's not gentle enough considering what Maxi has been through. The contrast between their lives are too great. He's had a different kind of hardship than Maxi. That's why their personalities don't mesh well. But both of them love each other but at the same time fail to understand and trust each other. Trust the the other loves them just as much.

Do I wish they had better relationship dynamics, hell yeah but at the same time that would not represent this story. It won't be the Riftan and Maxi the author intended them to be. When reading a piece of literature you need to critically analyse characters within the context and the reality of the world that the story is set in and also accept that their personalities are a result of the experiences they've lived through in that context.
I can look at Riftan with my 21st century mindset and call him trash but he's not in 21st century or even in the same dimension as me. Neither is Maxi. They're both set up in a world where women (especially noble women) never got any respect from their fathers, they were seen as nothing more than a tool for political marriages or child rearing. It's a bit worse in her case because she was also physically and mentally abused and that's why we sympathize with her so much. We know how hard it's for her to vocalise her desires given that she was oppressed by her father. But why should we ignore Riftan's backstory. Men who were warriors were rough and unkind because gentleness is not a trait you can keep when you're drifting from one battlefield to another. He's a commander, all the lives fighting alongside him are his responsibility. One wrong move, one moment of weakness and they're all lost. He's developed this unforgiving and rough personality because of years of killing people and losing comrades. He has his own trauma which I've not seen much mention of but having read so many historical literary works and seen documentaries I know what it takes for a man to become a great warrior. You don't have to be forgiving for his actions but you can't be ignorant to his perspective either. Just like you can sympathize with Maxi but still be critical of her decisions. Just stop taking sides. They're both valid in their perspectives and stupid in their actions. ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

Ohh my god do they still talk about that my comment ?? I didn't read all the replies , did they really call me bitch ? ))) hahahaha
But Riftan is such a cutie that I couldn't stay still while they criticised him ╮(￣▽￣)╭

Not at all, don't worry.
Actually I called the bunny gurl a bitch after idk how long our thread went and she was literally spamming everyone's comments and replies trashing on their opinions. My only argument was: don't call something rape when it isnt because rape isnt something u use to maintain your agenda (I say agenda because girl literally says in her profile no. 1 riftan hater how am I supposed to take her seriously)

anyways so the comment was getting too long so I didnt bother reading some of her last comments, and now I think she made another account with poppy name to try to bait me into responding. I am not responding to them, but it is so funny how unfiltered the other account is pretending to be someone else.

(idc about the drama) I just wanted to say I appreciate your analysis

i fear you may be normalizing child abuse? being a menace to your child is not healthy for their development. most of the time normalized abuse comes from historical trauma experienced by the community, and social pressures for performance. w those pressures and abuse it leads to mental illness and insecurities later in life.. just look at rates of mental illness among different demographics (although those aren’t necessarily accurate bc people lack access to healthcare). the same could be said for asshole MLs. we as a society sorta fetishize men like him, bc most people nowadays come from broken homes, have daddy issues, and don’t know what “healthy communciation” looks like..

Our ML (and FL lowk) are clearly emotionally stunted, and suck at communicating with each other （￣へ￣）
the relationship will reach a breaking point, when the ML learns the “truth” and i think it’ll click in his dumb male brain and he’ll start treating her right (〜￣△￣)〜

Thank you so much, I'm grateful for your appreciation

THANK YOU! And the worst part is, he never improves. He never actually develops, and it feels more like Maxi has to be responsible for both her as well as Riftan's emotions, just because the guy himself is too emotionally immature to deal with them himself. Maxi is a bit of an idiot as well for letting it happen and excusing his busted behavior, like the times when either Princess Agnes or someone else laughs when Maxi claims he's "kind" or "a gentleman." Like, girl. Maxi, when a person who's known your husband LONGER THAN YOU HAVE tells you that he isn't what you think he is, perhaps it would be wise to TAKE THEIR WORD FOR IT! Like, I can't remember who else said it, but I think it was one of the mages in Book 2 who absolutely did not fuck with Riftan, and she did not hide her dislike for him from Maxi, yet each time, Maxi would just be like, "No, he's not like that! He just wants what's best for me!" Yeah, okay, but what about what YOU want, girl? Ever questioned if whether or not your husband respects yours needs? Your boundaries? Lowkey, she sometimes sounds like a wife in a domestic abuse relationship, lol.

Take this queen you're missing your
There is this joy I have when I see intellectual people, you're a rare sight

I'm not trying to normalise child abuse, I clearly said they traumatize you, trauma in any shape or form is not normal or acceptable. What I was trying to say is that sometimes intent is more important than the action itself. Yes, these harsh parenting styles are causing some serious mental health problem in kids (myself included) but i also understand why parents behave that way (after becoming a mother myself, I realised sometimes we act out Instinctively). Fearing that your child might get crushed under the unfairness and harsh reality of the world and trying your best to prepare them for it is also a form of love. That fear may lead them to be a bit stricter or overprotective, because its better to prevent any harm befalling their child than let them get hurt and then deal with the consequences. Sometimes parents are just doing their best to protect them and in the only way they know how. Financial insecurity, discrimination, societal pressure and gender inequality still exist. Would you prefer to keep your child ignorant of that and then release them into the world to be preyed upon or would you rather arm them to face the absurdities of the world. As much as we would like to pretend, the world hasn't gotten all that better. It's not a good method of parenting but it's not inherently bad. Unless they're acting out of malice. Which is not something i stand for. There are parents out there who can't watch their children be more happy than them or have better things. There are also those who just enjoy inflicting pain on their children, I'm not defending these sick, deranged parents. Those are the kind that best get buried early. I'm talking about those parents who actually want what's best for their children, to love them and protect them but sometimes fail to communicate that properly.
How the love of a parent is perceived also depends on the child. Some do well with strict parenting some don't. As a child if i can understand the intention behind my parent's actions i might not get as traumatized by it. A parent who shows concern albeit in a harsh way or in being overprotective, maybe better than a parent who doesn't give a shit at all. I've seen parents who don't care what their children are growing up to be or what conditions they're in and then later when the child gets out of hand they're powerless to stop them or protect them. And I've also seen children who are unable to handle the unrealistic expectations thrust upon them and end their lives.
A balance between the 2 would ideal, knowing when to be strict and when to be gentle, but not many parents can figure that out. It's human nature to find one method that works and stick to it or if it doesn't work, do the complete opposite. Parents are humans too, they make mistakes, they think they're doing good but actually causing a lot of harm. Sometimes the harm is irreversible. That's why it's important that both parents and children have good communication with each other from time to time. If the child never lets the parents know what they're doing wrong, the parents won't be able to fix their behaviour. We as humans should always strive to do better. Learn from mistakes, correct it, apologise sincerely and do better. That's how people grow.

Now I'm not fetishising Riftan or MLs like him. But only trying to understand his character as a whole. He's overprotective because he firsthand knows the dangers of using magic, how taxing on the body it can be to be a mage and being on the battlefield against monsters. So he does what he thinks is in the best interest for Maxi. But he just doesn't express his concern properly or gently. Someone who has not known love may not know how to show it. It's a recurring theme with asshole MLs but it's a reality many people face. The reason for generational trauma is clearly a lack of understanding. When someone doesn't know what they're doing wrong they're unable to correct it. Maxi needs to fight back against his behaviour so that she can make him realise he's not treating her well. She's accepted his behaviour as normal because she herself doesn't know what proper love is like and therefore there's no growth for Riftan. It cannot be anyone but her who wakes him up from his rude asshole behaviour because she's the one he loves most. As always communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

I agree that he needs to be bitch slapped for failing to express himself properly and by Maxi no less but I don't think he's emotionally immature. An actual emotionally immature person would never put the safety of his wife over his own ego. When he refused to let her learn magic or go along with them to a battlefield full of monsters it wasn't because it was a "he said so" scenario, more like he believed she wouldn't be able to handle it. Of course Maxi does improve her magic but it wasn't without difficulty and she got completely wrecked trying to save everyone in the fort. He can't appreciate her putting herself in harm's way for other people he doesn't care as much about as he does for Maxi. For him Maxi and her safety is more important. He's however horrible at expressing his concern. There were a lot better ways to handle the situation but he failed to because he doesn't know how. Someone needs to sit him down and teach him how to talk to women. Because the way he talks to her is the same way he talks to everyone else. That's why no one agrees to him being kind. He gets just a little bit soft with Maxi but only when she's not endangering herself. I don't know how this story will progress from here. So far from all the spoilers in the comment section it seems he doesn't improve much. But I still don't think it's enough to hate him. Dislike him sure. Hate is such a strong emotion to feel. I've yet to see a reason for it.
I also agree that he should respect her choices and support her but even I as a reader couldn't support her decision to go with them to war with monsters. Maybe if she had enough training and experience to go on such an arduous and dangerous journey and she didn't have the weak body she had at the time I would be more supportive. She was not prepared for this, she put herself and others around her in danger. The only redeeming fact is that she did protect everyone at the fort but at what cost? If I was Riftan I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of my most beloved person putting themselves in danger and completely wrecking their body and health for the sake of strangers. It's a noble act and she should be praised for it but at the same the absolute guilt and worry that would consume me for having failed to protect her properly would probably drive me mad.
It's an inexcusable situation with how she was screamed at, left with a misunderstanding and lied to. She's already under a lot of stress and then the worst thing happened. In that time he should've been there for her but he wasn't able to handle the wave of emotions he felt when he learned of all that happened. He should've taken time to calm himself or take some counsel about how to deal with it. But he couldn't bear to see her in that place any longer, that's why he sent her away to the capital so she could stay safe. His reaction was very human, in the sense that most people lose control of their senses and say the worst things when they're angry, upset, or just depressed. The anger here wasn't for Maxi but himself. Why did he let her stay even a second longer when he knew how dangerous it would be for her? Why did he not stay with her so she wouldn't have to endanger herself? Why couldn't he protect her and their child even though he was capable of doing so? His helplessness overpowered him and he failed to think of her in that moment. I know this feeling. So I could understand it well. That's why I'm unable to hate him.

Can he be more gentle in his speech, definitely yes, like please stop being rude, she's your wife not your bro. But is he being rude on purpose with the intention of hurting Maxi? No, I don't think so. I don't think he's a very smart or calculating character, he's just horrible in expressing his true feelings. If he was just plain horrible to her because he wanted to cause her harm i would hate him, but I'm not seeing that from him.
Miscommunication is really the biggest problem they have. Maxi doesn't say enough, and Riftan says too much and not think thoroughly before he opens his mouth.

Thank you so much

Omg girl I 100% share the same opinion as you.
He is a flawed character (cause he aint perfect), but if he was real, he would make a very decent middle age husband! He showers you with all he can provides, goes out to wars and battles, let you manage his estate and wealth, does not have any concubine or mistress, does not abuse you physically or insult you... he is a good deal

Mangago ate my comment, i wrote
Thank you so much. I'm really grateful that you appreciate my perspective. It means a lot to be understood well by others. Have an amazing day ahead fellow intellectual ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

Thank you so much for agreeing with me. There's definitely scope for improvement but I find him better and more human than most MLs. He feels real. I could definitely picture a man like existing somewhere in early 16-17th century europe. I'm looking forward for them to start effectively communicate with each other so they can get closer and start an actual healthy relationship with each other. (●'◡'●)ﾉ

Yeah I hate when they remove or delete part of comments, and thank you, have a great day too