I share the same sentiment as another psychology student here!
From the people in my environment, I've heard quite the prejudices when their partner has finally gathered the courage to confess the type of kink(s) they have. Ofc, it's undeniably wrong when the said kink is imposed towards their partner without making it clear beforehand, since boundaries and consent is important. However, on the other side of the token, it's saddening when some of them outright admitted having kinks serving as their coping mechanisms, due to past traumas, only to be rejected and met with disgust from the other party who they have deemed a safe space to share a part of who they are.
I think it also depends on what the kink is though. Seeing this in the view of not only S&M (a lot would consider that extreme), but there are plenty of kinks that may be viewed "more". Taking in for example, Consensual nonconsent, cuckholding, voyeurism (like Enraku's here), etc.
Perhaps kinks in general will always be viewed negatively, one way or the other. I think some, especially us in this field, are more open or accepting to them mostly because we are aware that there is an underlying reason and are intrigued by what that may be. I'd be interested to read a paper on the specific causes of lesser known and studied ones especially. Most would say that are formed during the formative years, not exclusively during childhood. But I do agree, it must be difficult to be rejected or worse, expressed wjth outright disgust right to their face. Which is why all the more it is important to have safe spaces, not only in a relationships but maybe in groups? Not in the psychological sense but like S&M clubs or smth.
Anyway. I feel like I'm dissecting this too much lmfaoo
Hahaha not at all, if anything im interested in discussing such topic as well. With my peers, they are either closed off or reluctant to divulge it everytime it comes in conversation sooo~
Anyways, it's true that kinks are often viewed negatively in general. Probably because being deviant from what's considered normal - vanilla - is perceived to be perverted / sick in the mind; it's also by taking account of the cases by people with kinks and fetishes committing crime e.g. flashing passers-by, public frotting, or any other conduct that falls under public indecency and such.
And to compare with us who's in this field, i totally agree that we are more open to it. The society itself has a stigma towards these communities, thus the importance of groups understanding - S&M clubs as you've mentioned. Though even with these communities, it's also hard to find like-minded people without proper connections? In the sense that, you're someone with kinks desiring emotional connection, but the clubs are consisting of mostly those who only seek dopamine spikes from the pleasure. Like, all that matters is the need for physical intimacies without the care for the headspaces. Am i making sense LOLOL
Hehe talking about papers, if you ever stumble into any, kindly share with me if not much trouble ^^ i guess im also yapping about this too much hahaha
LGiving this a solid 5. Rare to see a poly relationship where the tops don't feel like cut-out cardboards that seem like the exact same person and fighting for no reason. While I seem to contradict because these two always fought, sensei made it make sense. I also appreciate when both tops actually talked about why Enraku was the way he was. I can't phrase it as good as *LadyHekate* has and I won't try to.
But I say this as a student taking psychology, what a parent does to a kid can and really will fuck them up when they grow up, whether either or them actually realises it. I'm not saying it can't be resolved, but it unfortunately happens quite a lot. I'm thankful that regardless of the shi that Enraku did before (not saying it was right ofc), shiki somehow stayed by him. I think in a way, he had an inkling that the shi his mom did was what caused it. But thinking how highly Enraku thinks of Shiki "They'd be happier with him than with me", is just sad. It's sad because with where he was before, it was true. This was unintentionally a bit of a mindfuck for me to think about. It breaks my heart. I hope to whoever has been through this, we all may not have a Shiki, but I truly hope you heal.