How did you manage to type all this
my rage got me through it
SPOILER
Lmao MC actually addresses this in the novel. He knows he's at fault too. He represses himself until he finally can't take it and blows up. Probably because his grandma was the only person who raised him so he felt like a burden to her so he never voices the things he wants.
What I personally liked about it is that by the end of the novel, both of them magically don't get better BUT they are clearly working hard to improve themselves for each other. ML gets a counselor/therapist (he had to switch a lot tho since he has to have basic trust with the therapist and he has a problem with opening up + he's a famous figure so they're careful on who to trust) and MC starts to dissolve the boundary he set for himself and ML by staying more at his house.
Neither of them communicate and it's bothering me. Like I understand WHY ML is like that but MC is so confusing! Like he keeps so many secrets, he didn't treat ML like a friend either, and tells him nothing. Like put yourself in ML shoes for a second and think of what that must feel like.
MC seems to take interest in him but DRAWS A HUGE LINE TO RECIPROCATION. He never shares anything about himself to ML but wants to how ML is feeling or thinking. When he gets questioned why that is, he never says because you're my friend but that he's his manager. How would he think that would feel? He doesn't take the initiative to BE A FRIEND. ML learns things from the outside about MC so how could that be a friendship? He puts high boundaries on common things.
Like how is ML supposed to feel secure in that relationship? He doesn't know about the crush but ONLY MC's distant/secretive behavior.
Now don't get me wrong, ML has a ton of issues but his insecurities are only being escalated by the MC behavior. He was abused/witnessed abuse as a child, forced into stardom, followed by creeps and paps, touched and approached by people with bad intentions etc. He is a victim and haven't received help because he can't even process anything. Even his Uncle not letting him quit earlier was a sign he didn't have his best intentions at heart. He's surrounded by predators and MC is his only safe space but MC is too occupied with making everything centered around his crush to be Decent friend to him.
I just need MC to communicate and to stop hiding everything. I need ML to get therapy. I need them to use their words! Cuz holy fuck I'm annoyed lol