I love the fact that varkas said the a snake and a wild cat shouldn't remain in the same room together and the fact alya thought he referred to Talia as snake but actually varkas was referring to tahlia was a wild cat and alya as a snake. The only reason he was protecting the twins was because of his promise to the first empress...
LITERALLY! like he has not once thought of Alya during his married life until the twins visited, and the vow the first empress made was effectively a curse on him. He always refers to Talia as being softhearted, he has no concept of his own physical strength or the impact of his expressions until he notices others reactions. His loyalty towards them has nothing to do with any affection he has for them personally. She strongarmed a child on her own deathbed.
I hated every bit of the plot at first read but it’s kind of growing on me now. I do resonate with the people that are reluctant to keep up with a story like this though since it’s so miserable and depressing.
Where can I find the novel?
Varkas was so severely abused by priests, including sexually by one, that his forced stay with them stripped him of his emotions. They literally killed the light inside of him, he himself described it as a death. So when y'all are talking about this infuriatingly stoic man, he himself has lost the ability to even recognize human emotion. It's actually Talia who makes him rediscover his feelings one after the other.
And my sweet baby Talia is akin to a feral kitten who is doing absolutely everything in her power to stay alive. Her hatred towards the twins, her resentment of her brother, the abuse she gives staff who formerly tormented her, etc etc is all this giant shield that she wears because there are knives pointed at all sides. She's the product of an affair, seen as this harbinger of doom. Men lust after her, clerics publicly shame her, her father doesn't care and her mother uses her as a tool. She cannot trust anyone, so she hates everyone. Every time she lets her walls down, she suffers because of it.
Y'all need to really give these characters a chance, and give the author an opportunity to show you who they are. Writing them off because they're not "good" or "green flags" does an immense disservice to the story because THIS is the natural outcome of an upbringing like this, not the sweet soft MC's or noble MLs of other tales.