reccs to cope

bl/gl with childhood/best friends to lovers, highschool/college, and yearning!! preferably fluffy with little angst but full angst is fine too!!


I'm just coping.. my deaaresttt friend of many years got a boyfriend yipeee
the one who'd lend me her jacket when I'm feeling cold, the one who'd search for my hand when she's cold, the one who'd put her head on my shoulder when she's sleepy, the one who saved my contact with "<3", the one who'd say I'm her favorite person besides her family, the one who'd bring earphones instead of headphones just because she wants to share with me, the one so endearingly bratty, the one who'd subtly flirt with me then get all embarrassed herself, the one who'd tell me anything but refuses to tell me anything about this 1 crush she has when she told me from a to z about her love life.. I'm thinking maybe i should've said something back then when we hung out she finished her volleyball practice that dusk
she's not even straight, I'm just that much of a loser.. or i guess I can blame out country for being very homophobic.. maybe I'm too precious of a friend that she was scared abt ruining our friendship or at least that's what I'd like to think to cope

honestly this whole thing is so dramatic and cringy she's really just some girl idk why I'm crying i should be happy for her GODDD KILL ME NOW CUT OPEN THE EARTH I'LL GLADLY FALL INTO THE ABYSS AND LET THE EARTH SWALLOW MY VERY PHYSICAL BEING