I forgot to add that the story doesn't focuses on the MC's circumstances of being in a novel. The MC's priority is all over the place and only sometimes make it's appearances. If it does, it's only there for dramatics and then we quickly move on to smut. When the mc and ml are together, all the mc does it think he's so handsome and the ml thinks the mc is so cute... The mc looks so in love but we as a reader don't see *why*. It may be related to his memory loss but still, it's crappy writing. There's no consistent tension in this story where the mc is seriously thinking of his circumstances. Because one chapter he's panicking and seizing due to his situation, the next he's going on a date with the ml and fingering himself. Seriously where is the consistency with these characters? The mc was so laid back in the chapter I stopped in that I was convinced he wasn't worrying anymore. But then he's suddenly thinking of the story and gets shocked when the ml accepts dating him. Like the mc didn't think of this before when he was with the ml, why think of it now and get shocked? I'm confused. I understand writing style and what the author is vaguely trying to write, but it's bad pacing. The sudden info dumping of the MC's thoughts about the original story is crappy. It's not inserted in a way that feels smooth in the scenes.
After reading his I don’t know why they like each other either. It feels like their love is a string of coincidences. The mc seeks him out in a way to get out of the novel and I can’t say anything tell the mc likes the ml’s face and the ml is sweet for our seemingly love drunk mc. What I got from the story is that the mc remembers a traumatic past but as time goes on it disappears from his memory. Also when the mc thinks about this place not being is original world he becomes uncontrollably sick and doctors cant stop the symptoms nor save him. He decides to think as he goes to stop himself from being sick as often but I don’t think he has realized the story has gone off script yet. I find it surprising that he thought he could go home when the story was over. I thought he just didn’t want to be kidnapped but idk? But what I do know is that he doesn’t feel a connection to anyone here since he considers them fake people or people apart of a novel. I consider him falling for the ml as him seeing the people in the “novel” as real.
All In all, the author has good excuses for the mc’s behavior. I just think the chapters coming in one at a time is ruining the story for you. You have to take into account that nothing here is as it seems and you can’t even trust the mc. The mc has an unknown illness and depression and considers his family not real but somehow knows the background of the people here. He didn’t even ask about the background of the ml to see if the story was the same. We are about to get some answered questions we just needed to see the people here as not just apart of the story first I think. I’m excited for answers!!! We can only judge if the story is over I’m just saying~
Is this world really a novel? Why do the people show signs of knowing what he knows? Is his brother really just a person from the novel or someone from the “real world”? Was it really an accident that his documents on his past were destroyed? My favorite questions are “what’s going to happen if the ml doesn’t believe him even if he tells him the ‘truth’?” And “can the mc tell anyone what’s happening since there could be a restriction?”
I don't know if it's just me but everything seems so fast but not well written. I'm on chapter 16 and the main characters are already dating. We have the mc blushing when he met the ml, the ml thinking that mc is cute, then he rushes mc to the hospital where mc starts to think about his situation and seizes. The elements of a story is present but it's execution is just... Bad? I remember liking the beginning of the story but at some point in the middle I feel like the author didn't care anymore and just wanted to write the smut so they skipped writing the characters having actual chemistry. Right now I feel nothing. I get that they are physically attracted to each other but I don't see any qualities of them being in love (granted it's pretty early in the story still). The mc is kind of all over the place too. One moment he's serious and anxious about being in a novel, the next moment he's thinking about getting fucked by the ml and acting flustered. He thinks the ml will hit him sometimes due to past abuse, then he next he's completely fine. We're given some flashback implying that they knew each other, but it still doesn't erase the fact that they literally don't have chemistry. This isn't good writing.