Well, that is indeed a very relatable story, so I guess it will trigger many memories that shouldn't be there... I am broken to read somebody with those memories.
You are not dirty, filthy, etc. That's, sometimes, a very religious way of saying things, or traditional way.
I have received those words as well. My point is, filthy is a cloth, not a person. A person is painted with different colours until they grow up, sometimes not the best matching colours, but that's how life treats us.
My many hugs to you, and let that guilty go very far away from you, because I think behind those feelings there is a kind soul trying to fly very high on the sky and be free.
You can always date another dude that got filthy like u
Good point.
reading this was agonizing.. because i was once in her position (for the nth time). and we had the same reaction and first thought... it felt so filthy that i dont want the person i like seeing me like that...the first thought she had was that Varkas saw her.
it was so filthy and degrading that until now i feel guilty because i still have this thought that i dont deserve someone because i am dirty already. and it is not fair for my future partner to be with someone like that.