Chapter 17

spoilers until the recent chapter:
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- MOSTLY FACT: we can assume it's 'cause jy went through an episode that night he went to favela to pick up his hyung. it was sm's idea to set up flashy lights that can 'capture the h100 dealers' attention ("when you suggested installing those flashy lights in favela [...] he really walked right in on his own two feet, without even realizing it's a trap you set."). but jy was a victim: a bottle was broken on his head, he got wet with alcohol, but most importantly is the lights that got him dizzy and made him lose conscience. sm didn't know until around that time that jy was drugged and received all the symptoms from taking h100. since he had the lights installed himself, that probably made him feel even worse. notice how in ch26 he asked the promo team to make it so the lights aren't too bright? he's being very careful know that he knows jy's situation
- SPECULATION/GUESS: he may feel responsible for not stopping h100's spread to KR if they've been trying to keep it at bay since brazil if he knew about it beforehand
- FACT: sm knew jy's doctor since he was young. in the children's day celebration image (extra. : Schedule Change + Twitter Extras), he's seen with him and bokyung wearing a volunteer shirt. the doctor seems to have done a lot of work in brazil as shown in the convo with bokyung based on his insane stories there (ch24) and he always talks about sm like he's a kid to him lol. sm probably didn't know he was jy's doctor until his jamie brown LP made its way back to him. the doctor most likely still doesn't know that sm knows jy
- SPECULATION: jy is giving daily updates about his whereabouts to this smiley contact. most ppl assume it's jun. that question mark they gave him is because jy missed a day reporting. if it /does/ end up being jun, him responding at 3AM KR time matches with it being 11AM~2PM in the states. btw i think jun is at the states rn 'cause his uncle keeps talking about a position he's holding for him there (ch20)
- SPECULATION: jy changes the other member's toothbrush often because he doesn't know if him having h100 in his system will spread to them if they accidentally use or make contact with his toothbrush (this is why they all have their names on them). or maybe same with jun, to prevent him from using their toothbrushes.
- FACT: the h100 is in the drawer where jy keeps his collection of research on the incident. it includes news articles of the drug scandal party, a voice recorder (apparently not a viable source of evidence), aspd articles (jun probably has this), the police leaving jy a number to call later, the toothbrushes of the members (except jun), jy's doctor diagnosis in 2018, etc
- SPECULATION: he's gathering evidence as proof that none of the other members are involved with h100 as well as jy himself being a victim. mostly the former though 'cause he would unquestionably sacrifice himself for them. it feels like this is his fail-safe to keep jun from involving the other members. but if they do get involved, it could be used as protection to release to the public to prove the other members' innocence and noninvolvement

Woah~
You are something else! Thank you!
Also, I still have few questions and you seem pretty good answering them.
So, why would Jy still talk to Jun? If he is the smiley contact.
And another thing, why everybody saying Sm is suspicious and weird? I can’t help it but I start to feel the same, like Jy band members says the same and they can’t trust him, and even Sm’s producer or what says this (when they waking sm up from the sleeping bag and he washing his face in the sink)… everybody feels sus about him. Like something is “coming”…
Also, the very first time when they met and jy collapsed, sm hugged him in the bed like it's nothing, almost like he is too close and too fast, and he know’s how jy is not really can understand feelings anymore due to the drugs effect, so it's like sm using this against him just because he really likes him, but I can’t help the feeling, like sm knew about jy before they very first meet in the club. How he was able to feel this way this fast, like he said, he already doesn’t care about the music stuff, he just wants him, like it was a plan to meet him or win him over and he knew about jy way before their first moment. Idk maybe I’m the problem, just somehow sm is seem sneaky to me, even tho I truly love him and jy also and I want them a really good relationship and happyness… im just scared

hmm…you’re going somewhere with this huh…:makes sense or maybe seungmin is related with the smile drug somehow like his family or smtn and wants to find out about it.
Idk if this was mentioned or not maybe the doc was in brazil for some work? who knows

Anyway can you answer me the second comment from me? You helped a lot! (=・ω・=)

have patience, it's an early morning weekday TT (i finished though, it's long lol)

(most of this is speculation on my part + spoilers up to ch26)
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- i think jy still keeps contact with jun because jun is holding something over him, most likely threatening him by using the other group members. when jy went to drag him back home at the hotel, jun opened his phone to the contact group with the other four members saying "[...] then you drink it instead. or better yet, call someone to drink in your place" (ch25). so if he didn't target jy, that means he would have targeted the other members. the articles on aspd reveal "...those with aspd are insensitive to the suffering of others and exhibit..." "...special situations where they cannot easily sever relationships..." "have a compulsive tendency to thoroughly control others, insisting..." "that no one attempt to take away their rights...", all of this covers him wanting to control jy and that shows through those daily updates too.
- ppl call sm suspicious / weird because *why* would someone who's at the peak of his fame cling to a has-been ex-idol like jy? even jy said "it's so strange. you and i... we only share the same name. our personalities, our looks, the environments we grew up in... everything about us is so different" (ch20). ys says it's "hard to understand what's going on inside the heads of people from that world... and the rumors are pretty bad too" when talking about sm (ch23). 'people from that world' probably mean like, party people? maybe playboy types? since sm has been seen hanging around club favela, but outsiders also don't know he's friends with the manager ie. director baek getting pissed sm "is in cahoots with the manager" (ch20). he might also be trying to build up a persona of that type to catch the eyes of h100 dealers 'cause there's a link between places like that, fame, and drugs right. ahyoung even brought up "[...]to be precise, didn't [sm] say he had to get famous?" (ch24)
- but in general, the dream boy members are most likely just worried 'cause they know jy is the type to push forward, and they're right! (ex: jy thinking "for so, so long, i believed that the way to endure the weight of the world was simply to wait to be forgotten... to cover up painful memories so they're out of sight." ch9) none of them are pursuing anything in the music industry anymore so jy is all alone (ch12) but it seems it's always been jy's dream to sing. the hurt they may be talking about is all the trash talk jy may face 'cause not only is dream boy entangled in rumors, some trolls even go as far and say he's just a flop idol using sm (ch10, ch21). so i'd say the members are rightfully suspicious because they care about jy and only want the best for him. but also, yuseong seems to have given in after seeing the improvements in jy and seeing them together. the results have him trusting sm's earnest feelings ie. "since jaeyoung hyung is handsome and kind, he must've cause their eye. looking at his wegram, he's almost like..." (ch23) & "i'm not sure if it's a relieve he has someone to lean on, or if i'm just witnessing the 'power of love' in action" (ch26).
- as for sm's label mates, they think he's weird 'cause he's doing things out of the ordinary, but he just likes jy lol. he's doing his best to support him out of the shadows. what's coming is this talent /lh haha i'm kidding, but i do think sm wants to get jy famous because he wants his talents and hard work to get noticed. jy was so happy just to be recognized when the wigram story dropped (ch10). coincidentally, getting jy famous might also have jun come out from hiding (to get things done himself after his uncle's failure) since sm has been suspicious of jun and knows he's involved in h100. i'm also sure jun having aspd means he hates his 'things' having free reign like this and out of his control. he was also always kinda prickly to jy and his love/happiness for singing
- there's an extension to the night before they slept together in bed hugging in ch24. sugyeom called jy's phone and sm picked up, asking to put him on the line etc. he's shocked to learn that jy is out cold and sleeping soundly, even as someone dealing with insomnia. i think sm became curious of jy's situation then, since he was gripping onto his hand for dear life. the morning after, jy was having a nightmare and clinging for comfort, only stopping after being held (ch3). this is probably the "scent" that jy associates with sm nowadays: comfort and peace of mind. and in ch19, sm recalled "back when i first met [jy]. [you looked like] a gorgeous little bunny with big round eyes[...]" so it's safe to assume that at least visually, jy is sm's type. he never fails to call him pretty whenever he can (ch8, ch11, ch20...) and he always compliments his voice (ch12) and even got hard hearing him sing lol (ch15). ahyoung once said "wow... [jy's] voice is insane. that's the kind of voice you like, oppa" to sm too (ch14). since sm only recently came back to KR after having lived in BR for so long, i want to say it is indeed their first time meeting but i'm a romantic and believe it's a chemical reaction love-at-first-sight thing on sm's part haha. btw sm was acting clingy to jy even before he learned he can't really feel happy emotions (ch11). but him learning about it is why he is always so straightforward with his feelings for jy, leaving no room for him to misunderstand his intentions (ch23). this might come off as love-bombing to some people, but he never pushes it that far imo. sm always listens to him and respects jy's autonomy (even telling him to push him away if it feels wrong in ch19) so he definitely won't be the one to label their relationship. jy is in charge and would have to heal first and then realize his feelings himself before sm says anything, even if he's "out of breath" and holding onto patience lol. this is why he doesn't exactly say "i like you/go out with me/etc" through words but by action. at least as of right now, jy does know they have a special relationship if anything (ch23).
- breaking the fourth wall but seungmin is given the keyword #affectionateTop on their r*di page. and on their X, the author has described happy together as "the youthful romance between [ The Reigning King of K-Hip-Hop (Top) The Former Flop Idol (Bottom)

oops it accidentally cut 'cause of the darn emoji i copy-pasted... continuing on:
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]. If you're curious about the story of a straightforward Top melting the heart of a low-self-esteem bottom..." so i'm trusting the author that sm won't do anything to use or hurt jy. to me, this is a salvation story and i will be reading with optimism in my heart lol.

ok i gotta finish my hw now LMAOOOO. ty for letting me yap! i always love talking about happy twogether so feel free to drop any curiousities. but response may be slow, i have smth due in a few hours and i've been procrastinating...

Thank you so much, and sorry, I’m in a different time zone! ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄