As a fellow Asian I can relate
Asian filial piety is no joke
My whole life whole life has been revolved around my parents and is still ongoing
They fuckked up my life quite a few times and I still love them to bits
Love is a funny word. It describes a long period of yearning for and wanting someone in our lives for as long as the feeling remains alive. But when it comes to family, love can also be expressed through a long history of resentment. As long as a person remains in the back of our minds, love is still there. No matter how small the ember may be, it can reignite and grow into a flame as large as we allow it to.
I have a twisted relationship with my mother too. And i still love her with all my heart. She hurt me verbally and mentally and kicked me out of the house when i was 20 on a random wednesday and prayed loudly that i wont ever succeed in life no matter how long i study and work for it. We are a common south east asian household where the child only move out due to career or marriage. But i was kicked out without a single penny. A very different term. She never reached out while i was struggling for a year and a half across the country. When my older sister died due to accident, my whole family changed. Including me and her. It was like a turning point where she forgot about how much she hurt me in the past and tried to amend our relationship by being more attentive to my studies. And she fell ill 8 years ago a couple months after my sis died and i have been the one taking care of her till now. Now we’re in this symbiotic relationship i do need her financially and she needs me for caretaking. I am still mad at her whenever i remember her words that day but i still love her because i cannot imagine my life without her. And yes fuck asian filial piety but without it, i wouldn’t have been the person i am today.
Words and thoughts are jumbled because i have adhd. But anyway i really love whenever author add hyesung mom in the picture and gets everyone riled up in the comments. I can see my younger self in them.