The way y’all have me defending a seme smh

Because he is s self-centered narcissist and with narcissists, you won't be able to communicate your feelings because they will always see themselves as the center or victim of the problem.

I thought the same. don‘t forget how he barely made any effort to clear up the misunderstanding regarding the fight. little bro deadass thought his brother got hit. and I saw so many comments saying seoyun is a narcissist. but hyeon literally refuses to get out of the victim mindset. dude decided to just never communicate, assume, try here and there and then dip after making up some scenarios in his head. I would actually love to see him grow a proper spine because why do you keep on running like cinderella? in terms of personality, neither is better than the other tbh

If you’re going to throw the word “narcissist” around, at least learn what narcissistic traits actually are.

Also, saying he’s a “self-centered narcissist” is redundant. Self-centeredness is already implied in the definition.

Seoyun recognizes the ways he hurt Hyeon and understands why those actions were hurtful. He’s actively trying to change his behavior, even if he’s not always going about it in the best way. At most, I’d call him emotionally immature, but he’s clearly capable of self-awareness, accountability, and growth.

Those are not traits people typically associate with narcissism.

Exactly! And not the person above you commenting ML is a narcissist LOL. People are so narrow minded.

Nah, lowk uke is the one victimising himself too much. Bro thought he will be ghosted (in high school), when he wasnt. He did the ghosting. He thought the seme doesn’t love him and will break it off with him. Guess who broke it off? He then proceeded ghost again and when seme camped out to just communicate, he cries and shoves seme out? Where is he the victim? Where is he suffering other than the ones he inflicted on himself? If he had just told seme that ‘oh am breaking it off cus u dont like me and only wanna fuck me, so am tryna move on’, seme would’ve straight up confessed

Yeah this lmao

CANT AGREE MORE! the bottom is the one who caused all the misunderstanding in the first place, sure the top is jerk but technically he did nothing wrong

Maybe. I don't know how it holds meaning in really scientific or psychological terms but my mom is one as in she won't admit fault, fabricate scenarios and always gaslight herself into thinking she was the victim, would cry immediately if somebody even so slightly confronted her. She would never admit fault unless the stars align and she came to a conclusion that she did the wrong thing. Even then she would not apologize and think that the actual person she caused harm to deserved it. I did saw some parallels here but since I'm not a psychologist, idk.

Also, Seoyun recognized he hurt Hyeon only when Hyeon refused to maintain contact with him. It would never have happened if Hyeon communicated his feelings because of how he used to think and his previous selfish nature. Even if he isn't a narcissist, he did show some of it's traits. He has been in this perpetual self-cemtered state of "How dare Seoyun break it off with me? I wanted to be the one to reject him" since highschool.

Also another thing is that Hyeon doesn't have to go out of his way to hold Seoyun accountable. It's not his job to fix other's personality. If Hyeon doesn't like Seoyun then he can never see him again as they are not even in a relationship. It's just that simple. And he constantly objectified hyeon as some sort of trophee to hold so it's not like hate for him is out of left field. Also as far as I am aware of, emotional immaturity is part of narcissistic trait. You make it sound like I pulled the word out of nothing but I pulled the word because there's some form of resemblance here. But yes I maybe wrong here because of my limited knowledge on the words whose meaning closely loop one another. But if my wrong use of words mean victory to you, sure go ahead and claim it.

As for Hyeon, yes he has faults. There's nothing to even argue about. People and their need to feel smart. Same energy as "Actually..the definition states this so your wrong....

What seems like narcissism for him i believe is just denial about his own feelings

Just to be clear, I’m not trying to “win” anything here. I enjoy discussing stories from different perspectives, which is why I replied in the first place.

I’m also not arguing that Hyeon is obligated to stay, forgive Seoyun, or help him become a better person. If he wants to walk away, that’s entirely his choice.

What I disagree with is the framing of Seoyun as some uniquely awful person when so much of this story’s conflict comes from both characters making assumptions instead of communicating.

You say Seoyun only recognized the harm he caused once Hyeon cut contact. Well… yeah? That’s often how people realize they’ve hurt someone. That’s not proof of narcissism. It’s proof that he finally understood the consequences of his actions and started reflecting on them.

My issue isn’t whether Seoyun has flaws. He absolutely does. It’s that people keep reducing him to labels that don’t really fit while giving Hyeon far more grace for engaging in the same cycle of assumptions and avoidance.

That’s where I think we’re viewing the story differently. A lot of Hyeon’s actions seem to be interpreted in the most charitable light possible, while a lot of Seoyun’s actions are interpreted in the least charitable light possible.

The story becomes a lot less interesting when one character is framed as the sole problem while the other is treated as a perpetual victim. They’re both contributing to the misunderstandings, and that’s what makes the situation messy in the first place.

You don’t have to like Seoyun, but I think reducing him to “narcissist” ignores a lot of the nuance in this story. If you truly believe all of this falls solely on Seoyun, then we’ll probably just have to agree to disagree!

but whether he’s narcissist or not he never showed it in action, we see it bcs we’re in his POV, it doesn’t make him an awful person nor an excuse for hyeon not to communicate

Hit the nail on the head!

I get why Hyeon is hurt over his unrequited love, but honestly a lot of this mess could’ve been avoided if both of them communicated better. Then again, we probably wouldn’t have a story if they did.

I think that’s what gets me. People are interpreting the story in such black-and-white terms when the whole point is that both characters are flawed and contributing to the misunderstandings in their own ways.

I mean people, me included, are inclined to sympathize with a self loathing, victimizing uke than a self serving, emotionally immature seme. It's easy to sympathize with a character who can't say no or can't speak for themselves or has the tendency to hide themselves than the opposite because people can't self insert themselves as the opposite. It's just a greater evil vs lesser evil phenomena where it's easy to ignore lesser evil in sight of a greater evil. It doesn't matter if he has done the task or not since what matters is perspectives and intent and the story is from seme's perspective and we see how selfish he is.

Since seme shows those selfish tendencies, readers will speak about him more. It doesn't mean that readers ignore that uke is also at fault. I don't like both of them but it is not hard to understand why the readers grill on seme.

Again, I don't believe seme is only the one at fault. I already said it earlier that uke has faults and there's no reason to argue on it. The reason people are quick with "narc" comment because it's loosely used here. Instead of finding several words to describe him, a simple narc will do the job. It's probably a stretch but it's not unreasonable or incomprehensible.