My one critique is that Kim Dan is too much of a soft marshmallow. Timid, withdrawn and pathetic was how he was portrayed, could have been better at that front. A fiery bottom (regardless of his past) to match Jaekyung’s energy would have brought some edgy fun. Each to their own. Agree that it was rushed and even the ending was awkward. There wasn’t much to progress with the plot with so many cliches. Typical granny upbringing, bullying, loan sharks etc. Development of the plot and the characters were sub-par, mostly running away from their feelings and even if there were attempts to bring one or the other back, there were no attempts to relay their thoughts across (Fudge..really? If you liked someone, wouldn’t you be persistent and unwilling to give up? At the least, wouldn’t you confess until their ears bleed? Or give them an unexpected hug, apologise and walk away no matter how they reacted? Just saying). I was excited cause the author was bringing the MMA scene to the BL world but maybe there ought to be a solid foundation first for a BL classic to be born. Oh well.
are you fr defending this STORY?
You don’t have to write a story in order to develop the ability to constructively criticize stories.
You don’t need to possess a flaw in order to recognize someone else’s flaws.
I agree. The development for Kim Dan specifically was underwhelming. I thought he would change after the whole alcoholic sleepwalking thing, but that never really happened. That's probably when I tossed away most of my predictions/expectations for this story. Which kinda saved me from the rest of the underdeveloped moments. I just got tired of people commenting that the story was shit with no actual critique. It's not like the entire story was bad. Which is why I made a comment in the first place. All of your points were valid and made sense.
What's your definition of defending? This story definitely got things I don't like, probably more I dislike than I like. But people are commenting as if this is the absolute worse thing ever and doesn't have something worth liking. This story isn't great, but it's not the worse. Not close.
Constructive criticism, I'm all for that. Experience or not.
Just shitting on a story with nothing to add, not even a sentence. Not for that. Experience or not.
and whats the point in defending ts? i get there are worse things out there but this is not the author’s first story. nor is BL a new genre plus it’s 2026 so why are you keeping them at the level of shitty stories? the point is we expected better from someone who’s a professional artist and not beginner at writing. although i’d say they’re back to 0 since the writing is worse than BJ Alex
Right. It doesn't take much effort to express disappointment. Instead of spouting the first intrusive thought onto a comment.
It's a comment section, I get that, but two full pages of the same verbal throw up is tiring.
none of these comments are intrusive lol we all well aware of how we feel about this so called story. i feel more sad for the people who’s first BL is this. maybe these comments will steer others clear from ever reading it
Damn near everyone shitting on this story, but I know there's WAY worse out there. None of y'all got story writing experience, but talking like y'all do. Lol. Save your shitty biased two cents and go read something else. For the people actually giving constructive criticism, thank you.