Yaharu reminds me of my old self so bad

Not saying that im in a better place now but my mental health back then really had me clawing my own skin and i can understand his relapse so well. I fear the me now has gone too numb for anything and im just waiting to carry out my suicide lol. I think the me back then (yaharu) didnt have the courage to carry out the suicide but i feel like even if jun appeared in front of me irl i still would choose to die just cause i dont really have any plans for living lol ╮(￣▽￣)╭ its like ive made peace with my own symptoms because im never getting out and i dont feel like climbing up the hole that ive dug for so many years cause its too much effort