Responses
Do you have Discord?
I'd like to help, if you'd like!
Though I don't know how to read or translate Japanese, but I am good at reading so I can proofread for you!
beta
The notes are a bit distracting and I get that there are nuances to be made clear, but, if you want an advice, I suggest you put all your notes at the end of the chapter (like little footnotes!) OR
Have someone else proofread for you since it looks like you over think of how or what you're going to use for the sentences.
Having another opinion might help you on what sounds much better.
You're doing so well! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧