They're perfect for eachother? Nah. Ain't seeing it. They've got great sexual chemistry tho. As a queer guy, fuck the rapist, but he is right in many ways. The ML wouldn't even have pushed himself even that little bit if it wasn't for the rapist clueing him in on the level of self abandonment that the MC is practicing in that relationship. ML agreed to date MC who is visibly out af? great. Where are his mfing concessions to accomodate MC too. Cause it's been basically mostly the MC doing all the heavy lifting re the relationship surviving at all.
A relationship is more than hot sex in a room or a hotel. You gotta be able to be future facing somewhat, to build w that person. I ain't saying the ML should magically be comfortable being fully out, but there needs to be faaar more effort on his part than wtv tf is going on rn. ML is lucky af the MC basically has almost no self respect and is a very live almost exclusively in the moment kinda person. They're in college. That can sorta fly for now. sorta - still sux balls for MC. But past that? Good luck.
If the ML is THAT closeted, he should date someone similarly closeted to himself. And MC should probably think twice about giving up so much of life for one person who makes so little effort for him.
I can see you're disagreeing to my opinion as you have ur own, but ur basically disregarding what my point is(if I understood you correctly). There's no rulebook on how to love and how to express it "properly and correctly" in a relationship. You don't see them being perfect because you have your own opinions and views on how a relationship works, and you think that they don't fit in your standards of basic decency in a relationship, or in basic human decency overall. However, not everyone can easily do the 'basic stuff' or can easily tell what to do for their partner. That's what makes us all unique. Just because Shizume does big ass efforts and energy, doesn't mean that Shizume should try and match it too.
"ML agreed to date MC who is visibly out af? great. Where are his mfing concessions to accomodate MC too. Cause it's been basically mostly the MC doing all the heavy lifting re the relationship surviving at all."
- Yes Shizume agreed to date Kiumi who was pursuing him for sex at first, and was interested in him after, even when he clearly showed than he's not comfortable with the idea of dating an openly gay person. He gave him a chance either way, and decided to see if they will work out. Kiumi also agreed to date a visibly closeted person, but tries to constantly suggest stuff that will make Shizume uncomfortable. However he respects Shizume's boundaries by knowing to stop when Shizume says no, and Shizume tries to reciprocate by doing what Kiumi wants in private instead, or gearing himself to do it in the future, and apologizing.
I agree that their relationship should be more than sex and hot stuff, but the plot started with them being fuck buddies for a while. Then we started to see that they tried to navigate on what people do in a relationship. Seeing that both of them don't have good experiences in terms of romance and people in their life, this is basically their first freaking relationship with them knowing what their boundaries are and what they are. But well most BLs are pure smut so like, this story is one of those
Well yeah Shizume is indeed Lucky asf because Kiumi is willing to give him time and open up more while being understanding. Call it no self-respect but some people go far when they truly love someone. Yeah, most people would get pissed and fuck off already if they encountered a relationship where they can't do whatever they want because the other person doesn't wanna do it, and they feel like they're the only ones constantly doing the effort in this relationship. If you don't want that then leave, cuz you two are clearly not meant for each other then.
You can't really say much for their relationship rn and how they'll be in the future because they haven't really known each other for long. They're just starting. The beginning is always messy and has a lot of ups and downs because you two are still figuring out information about each other. People Also change overtime so, you can't expect them to be like this until they grow old LMAO. This is just basically a glimpse of them that we are allowed to read.
"If the ML is THAT closeted, he should date someone similarly closeted to himself."
- LMAO, you can't just tell someone to go date someone who is at the same level as them just because you don't like them in this relationship, and think that someone who is similar would fit better. Love doesn't work that way, you can't choose who you want just because it's easier that way.
"And MC should probably think twice about giving up so much of life for one person who makes so little effort for him."
- Effort doesn't equal to who loves the other more, or that someone is deliberately putting themselves lower just to make something work. Being so enthusiastic and energetic is just Kiumi's personality. He loves Shizume, that's why he's putting all the effort and excitement towards his boyfriend, that's how he is. Shizume on the other hand is closed off and minimal when showing affection. If you compare Kiumi's way of showing love to Shizume's way of showing love, then yes it's a vast difference. However, to say that Kiumi is giving up so much of his life to Shizume is where I disagree. Shizume is entertaining each effort and meets it with a response, even if it is smaller than Kuimi's way of expressing it. Love is love whether how big or small you show and do it.
A relationship won't automatically be the oh so "perfect" one where both parties are are decent people without any problems and agrees to all things to do together. That's why this story resonates with me so much as it shows the struggles of being gay. It also resonates me with Shizume, which is the ML ur so against with in the story.
We can admire a person—love a person rather, in a quiet and private way. For you it may hurt that you can't share with others that "hey! I'm dating ___ he's my boyfriend" Yeah, but for some people, it's better that others doesn't know. A lot of people judge a relationship and can ruin them because they intervene. Saying that they don't like how 'A' is treating 'B' and it should be like 'this'. Not noting the fact that not everyone wants, thinks, and feels the same way.
Sure Shizume is a jerk, an asshole or even a selfish prick for how he is in your view. That's because not everyone experiences the same thing. You judge them both for not putting effort and giving up one's self, but try putting yourself in their place and understanding it. It's scary to do something ur uncomfortable of, so knowing that you can't do any openly affectionate stuff with your partner even if it will make them happy and you also want to do it for them, is a full fuel of overthinking and anxiousness. The guilt you feel after is so freaking heavy that it hurts your heart too.
It may be easy for you to show affection and say affectionate words, but not everyone can. Sure, it may be easy for you to be quiet and not letting anyone know about your private life, but not everyone can do that. See the difference? That's why they're trying to make it work and meet in the middle where both parties can have that intimate space.
I am not trying to argue btw, if you misread the tones in my message. I'm trying to let you know and show my point. I like this story for their personalities and dynamic, that's why I said they're perfect for each other. I've had quite a few experiences myself, so I can attest how fucking scary it is to be suddenly outed as gay and suddenly realize that everyone knows about your relationship. So Shizume is lucky asf because Kiumi respected his boundaries, he didn't have to go a day in their classroom with stares, comments, gossips, and teasing from their classmates.
If Kiumi didn't respect Shizume's boundaries, Shizume would've ended this relationship himself. So yeah! ^^
I realized I didn't reply to ur comment directly and I also mixed up Shizume and Kiumi's names in my first reply, so bear with me. I think you'll understand who I'm talking about even when I mixed up their names tho, mb
Chapter 1: ML helped MC run from the shady dudes then collared drunk MC to the bed and forcefully topped MC
Chapter 2: ML saves MC then collars him to the bed even though the MC asked not to be collared
Chapter 3: MC denies having feelings and asks for FWB relationship so ML gets pissed so he forces him in a toilet.
Chapter 4: MC ends up falling inlove but tries to give ML space
Chapter 5: ML blames MC that he's annoyed because according to him, MC told him to not sleep with other guys while he sleeps around when it was ML who said he'll sleep around and that he won't let MC tell him who her can and can't sleep with(Chapter 3). That's the part where MC said he doesn't care as long as ML sleeps with him which resulted to ML being pissy and forced MC inside a stall. Anyways MC ended up apologizing.
Chapter 6: ML's friend came over. They drank, friend makes a comment how tiring it mus be to keep accomodating ML. ML walks out. Friend continues commenting, MC keeps making excuses for ML.
Ch. 7: ML's friend assaults MC and MC is the one who apologizes to ML, friend plays the victim but ML plays victim-er
Ch. 8: They go on a rrip. It starts with MC worrying if people see him and ML together. ML doesn't care but doesn't assure him. MC wanted to go sight seeing and trying foods but wouldn't do them because ML. Also, ML refused to hold hands outside but did inside. There was a part in the later chapters where ML holds hanfs and hug MC outside but that's never for MC's sake. Ot was all because he wanted to. But when he doesn't? "Muh boundaries"
Anyways, my point is I hope IRL never gets you to a point where you have to be this self sacrificial.
Uhm.. he hasnt given up anything else than sleeping around tho?
Like neither of them has ever been in a relationship before. We dont know and even they dont know what are their hard boundaries and in what they can make compromises..
1. Mc was a top then got drunkenly held down
2. Mc was collared to the bed despite protestation(twice, and him stopping it was portrayed as a positive)
3. MC wanted PDA but ML did not want to, which is understandable, but the point is MC is always the one giving in. ML was actually able to bend his no PDA when he hugged MC in public. Just not because MC wanted to but because HE wanted it, not a compromise, not for MC
4. ML is on the closet which MC respected
5. WORST. Whenever ML is upset, MC gets physically assaulted, i.e ML putting a hand on him after he saved him from another failed meet up, and the collaring of course.
What has ML brought to the table despite his pretty face?
I meant besides his pretty face,.
He has made compromises as well.. for first one the collar you keep mentioning. He has trauma that has led him to this sort of BDSM bondage sex. He let go of that and had been thinking about Tomo more (not leaving visible marks and thinking about his pleasure as well). Him being rough with sex is kind of their dynamic that they both enjoy.. Yes their first time was dub-con, but other than that there has been understanding about what is going on. I think Top even kind of apologized for it or at least explained that he took out his frustrations on him (about so vocally talking about gay sex). What happened after Tomo got himself into trouble at the bath house and was reacued, the collar isnt relevant here as Tomo already knows that if you want sex, wear the collar.
He agreed to the couples rings even tho he wears his on necklace but still. He has made compromised about PDA (inside is ok, and occasionally hugs him and helds his hand inside his jacket). It's not like he did it simply just because HE wanted it but because he knows it's something Tomo also likes.
He decided to rent a car for their trip to make it easier for Tomo to travel together. He clearly saw how sincere Tomo was about planning how they could travel incognito..
And Id say the biggest one is that he didn't get mad at Tomo about the BJ tho the friend was kinda forcing him. He could have fought back but he decided to go with it because.. Top was actually comforting him and handled the situation extremely well with both Tomo and the friend.
And Top agreed to give him BJ despite his trauma (tho with conditions).
But like you mentioned, out Top is deep in the closet and doesn't plan on coming out. Tomo knows this. I am curios as to what compromises do you expect he could do more? With Tomo being openly and very vocally gay makes it much harder for him to be seen together in public.
If not victim-blaming someone after they get assaulted counts as a 'huge compromise' to you, the bar is literally under the floor.
Let’s be real about what you're actually defending here:
The Assault Incident: Not getting mad at Tomo when his friend forced himself on him isn't a romantic compromise. It's the absolute bare minimum of human decency. The fact that you're treating 'he didn't blame the victim' as a major win for ML says everything.
The Collar & 'Trauma': Trauma explains behavior, it doesn't excuse forcing non-consensual BDSM on someone twice. Stopping a harmful behavior after doing it repeatedly isn't a compromise, it's just stopping an toxic habit. You don't get a medal for finally listening to 'no.'
PDA & The Trip: Renting a car and keeping Tomo hidden isn't for Tomo's sake, it's for ML's comfort. Hugging him inside a jacket only when ML feels like it isn't meeting in the middle. Tomo is the one constantly shrinking himself, walking on eggshells, and making excuses for him.
Trauma explains why ML is toxic, but it doesn't make the dynamic healthy or equal. Tomo is doing 90% of the emotional labor while ML drops bare-minimum scraps strictly on his own terms. IRL or in fiction, calling this 'mutual compromise' is insane.
I wouldnt count say Tomo is victim as he didnt even try to push him off.. he was actually kind of enjoying it because he doesnt get it from top. Its only later he comes to regret his actions and thats why he is crying. Yes friend was forceful but I would actually call what he did cheating. Its like people say "i was drunk I didnt mean to" type of situation. Main blame falls onto the friend but Tomo wasnt really innocent victim in the act.
I think you have some deep feelings about the collar since you bring it up so passionately. Its really not that different from tying hands or holding hands during sex. Its not violent. That said yes first time was non-con but not the second. And both times Tomo was the one to start things (both times he was the one asking for sex). There is nothing actually harmful about wearing the collar, its just preference. So him giving up his preference for Tomo is actually compromise yes.
And the car was definately for Tomo. He did it after listening to Tomo making compromises for him so he returned the favor. If even Tomo doesnt feel himself he is shrinking himself to accomodate his boyfriends boundaries why do you? Lets put this into perspective. Lets say instead of being in a closet Top was actually extremely anxious and couldnt go to public places with Tomo. Would Tomo shrink himself to accommadate his anxiety with alternative plan?
Again I ask what compromises do you expect Top to make while being in the closet?
We're obviously reading two different stories here. I'm seeing rape, non-consensual BDSM, physical assault, another sexual assault, victim-blaming, a power imbalance, and self-sacrificing behavior. I'm seeing MC disappear into the closet along with ML.
Fun facts:
Freeze responses and physiological reactions aren't consent. They're basic trauma responses, not proof of “enjoyment” or cheating. A friend forcing themselves on someone who is intoxicated and vulnerable is sexual assault—full stop. Saying the victim “wasn't innocent” because he froze, didn't fight back, or had an involuntary physical reaction is textbook victim-blaming.
Non-consensual restraint isn't a “preference” like holding hands. BDSM requires informed, voluntary consent. If someone explicitly protests being restrained and you do it anyway, that's a violation of their boundaries. The fact that they later develop a consensual BDSM dynamic doesn't retroactively make the earlier incident consensual. And stopping non-consensual behavior isn't ML “sacrificing his preference”; it's respecting consent.
Victims in unhealthy and unbalanced dynamics don't necessarily recognize that they're shrinking themselves while they're in the middle of it. That's literally part of how emotional dependency can work. Tomo constantly making excuses for ML doesn't prove that he's perfectly happy with the arrangement; it can just as easily show how desperately he's trying to preserve the relationship and get affection from someone who gives him very little security.
Being anxious or closeted doesn't give someone a free pass to disregard their partner's needs. I'm not saying ML should come out or do PDA that genuinely makes him feel unsafe. His closet is a valid boundary. But it isn't a hall pass to treat Tomo like a hidden inconvenience while expecting Tomo to make all the emotional accommodations. If ML can't give him public affection, then there are still other ways he can reassure him and meet his needs.
So yeah, I'm not interested in counting up who rented a car or who wore a ring and assigning everyone compromise points. My issue is the underlying dynamic. ML having legitimate boundaries doesn't make Tomo's boundaries disappear, and ML making some genuine compromises doesn't erase the times Tomo's consent and physical boundaries were violated.
We're clearly interpreting the same scenes through completely different lenses, so I don't think we're going to convince each other at this point.
Yeah I suppose we view their sex differently, as in I see Top being quite straight forward with his preference/kink "if you want to have sex with me, this is how I do it. Take it or leave it".
I do get what you are saying but to me it seems very black and white where as I think I am seeing the grey if that makes sense.. and for me this seems very short time lapse of beginning of their relationship so I hope they both learn to give each other the love they crave..
How could Top (ugh I cant never remember his name) reassure Tomo? Would that count as a compromise to you?
I really get hurt when people hates Shizume because he's 'emotionless'. Did we even read the same manga? Because he's deliberately pushing his own boundaries and fears just to satisfy and make Kiumi happy. Kiumi understands, that's why he feels bad for Shizume at some point.
Like bro not all people can blush and are verbal about affection. Some shows it through actions like Shizume does, because it's scary and uncomfortable to be openly affectionate. He's a private type of person, I can understand him because I can relate to him a lot, in terms of relationship stuff. And do you eveeennn see the society today? Fml
Him 'showing no emotions' makes people point him out like a fuckin criminal or something. Assuming that he doesn't like Kiumi is actually insane because he does say he's trying to convey that he likes Kiumi in his own way. Y'all act like there's a rulebook on how to love someone.
Someone like him who is closeted and is uncomfortable with public display of affection, agreed to date Kiumi who is like the bane of his existence, shows how much he loves him actually. It's like two complete opposites trying to understand and love each other y'know?
Y'all hating on him is like hating on Shizume and Kiumi's effort and understanding too oml. They're the perfect match atp because they know each other's wants and dislikes. Y'all act like Koh, saying y'all feel bad for Kiumi because of how mean Shizume is. Like y'all know him that well smh.