Rosetta is trying to relate to Maxi in her own way. She is saying that because even just by being forced to watch that he cannot trust and finds trouble loving, that it must be even worse for Maxi because Maxi actually went through the beatings. She isn't trying to rub it in Maxi's face. I'd recommend reading it again and trying to understand exactly what she is or isn't saying. I think Rosetta is best defined by her actions -- and her actions allowed Riftan to save Maxi as well as stopped a war.
As someone who was in a very similar situation as maxi up until I was 17 I definitely appreciate the depths of the way this book portrays all the different types and reasons of trauma. But at no point does that excuse my behaviour to others and if I ever did hurt anyone the way Rosseta is doing to Maxi no matter what my excuse is there are very valid for hating me. You can’t go around projecting and expect us to excuse it Nope sorry.

Aaaaaaaggggg I don’t care that she’s also traumatized from watching , what a bitch