Welp, this is a textbook example of why ur teachers focus so much on the "show not tell". Pacing issues aside, so much information was given but couldn't be processed.
Not everything needs a third person narrator but I think this one would benefit greatly from it. Chars are just thrown left and right with no introduction, so we don't know who is who, and who is doing what.
Welp, this is a textbook example of why ur teachers focus so much on the "show not tell". Pacing issues aside, so much information was given but couldn't be processed.
Not everything needs a third person narrator but I think this one would benefit greatly from it. Chars are just thrown left and right with no introduction, so we don't know who is who, and who is doing what.