I have no one to say this to so I will rant here. I love season two so much that alongside tears of total despair I smile knowing THIS IS ABSOLUTE PEAK. I don't know why this hit me so hard, but the writing must've had some literary structural genius because the lead up and climax matched the intensity of my tears- and I was bawling. It's crazy because you start off knowing Hamin is dead, and you wonder: how sad it could possibly be when the outcome is predetermined? Honestly I think it's just hearing about him from outside perspectives and never getting a true Hamin pov. the fact that Somang and Jaemin are missing 500 of the 1000 puzzle pieces because Hamin took them when he died. Seeing the connections Hamin made and then watching them get left behind. How unfair it feels that maybe if he hung on a little longer he and Somang could've been dating, he would've graduated, he could've escaped his parents. However the way he was feeling in that moment of his life is something I can never understand so that's why I think it worked the author never attempted to show me through his perspective. I don't feel the way he feels but i grew attached to him through the lenses of Somang and Jaemin. Hamins flower bloomed within me too and I, just like Somang and Jaemin, lost him when he died. I know the Hamin who was in love with a girl who could do what he never could, and the Hamin who wanted to protect his little brother from going through what held him back the most. If i experienced a full perspective of Hamin, his thoughts, I wouldn't have an image of what could've been and what happened after. His diary for one, unveiling some of his true thoughts after only having fragments. "Thank you for letting me experience your radiance" or whatever he said WOWOWOWOW IM CRYING When she said "it was you, and it was me, it was the fact that it rained that day, it was his fake friends, it was the weight of the books in his bag." It was probably just a day too like the others, and he wanted that change. I don't think he wanted death. When Somang wrote her alternate ending novel (chapter 60 I think) She wrote her saving him from the ledge "He wanted to live more than anyone else" or something like that When he stepped on the ledge did he full send or was he hesitant? did he slip because of the rain and try to pull himself back up or was it on the way down did he realize what was actually happening. If he wanted to live more than anyone else, i feel like it's even worse that he chose death as an escape. He genuinely just needed to LIVE his own life apart from his parents expectations and desires. Even if him dying forced his parents into realizing their mistakes it doesn't matter. If he stayed alive, even if his parents didn't change, who gives a shit. him dying shouldn't be the cost of them realizing their mistake. The fact he said he didn't hate them either he just wanted his brother to be free is also heart wrenching because in a way it worked. his death forced his parents to change and now his brother will never have to go through what he did. Although Jaemin suffers with the loss of Hamin. Some things i noticed that add to the amount of detail this story has Somang having the bang clip in the future like after Hamin cut her bangs too short in the past (representing her stuck in grief) Somang keeping her hair short and Hamin later telling her in a dream to spice things up a bit (representing her healing) us not knowing if it really was Hamin who was there when Jaemin said he wished his brother would disappear (adds to the uncertainty) In Somangs dream, Hamin staring at her and essentially saying he wishes he could mentally take enough pictures to last him until the next time they see eachother i'm starting to cry again. wow that line really hurt. the way they drew him just tilting his head at her absorbing every detail of her face. WOWWOWOW probably painting thousands of images of her in his mind while he tumbles through eternal slumber. I hope he is at peace. Anyways I cry every time i read this to the point where just thinking about it activates my tear ducts. I could become a professional actor by the way i can cry on command.
I have no one to say this to so I will rant here.
I love season two so much that alongside tears of total despair I smile knowing THIS IS ABSOLUTE PEAK.
I don't know why this hit me so hard, but the writing must've had some literary structural genius because the lead up and climax matched the intensity of my tears- and I was bawling.
It's crazy because you start off knowing Hamin is dead, and you wonder: how sad it could possibly be when the outcome is predetermined?
Honestly I think it's just hearing about him from outside perspectives and never getting a true Hamin pov. the fact that Somang and Jaemin are missing 500 of the 1000 puzzle pieces because Hamin took them when he died.
Seeing the connections Hamin made and then watching them get left behind.
How unfair it feels that maybe if he hung on a little longer he and Somang could've been dating, he would've graduated, he could've escaped his parents. However the way he was feeling in that moment of his life is something I can never understand so that's why I think it worked the author never attempted to show me through his perspective. I don't feel the way he feels but i grew attached to him through the lenses of Somang and Jaemin.
Hamins flower bloomed within me too and I, just like Somang and Jaemin, lost him when he died. I know the Hamin who was in love with a girl who could do what he never could, and the Hamin who wanted to protect his little brother from going through what held him back the most.
If i experienced a full perspective of Hamin, his thoughts, I wouldn't have an image of what could've been and what happened after.
His diary for one, unveiling some of his true thoughts after only having fragments.
"Thank you for letting me experience your radiance" or whatever he said
WOWOWOWOW IM CRYING
When she said
"it was you, and it was me, it was the fact that it rained that day, it was his fake friends, it was the weight of the books in his bag."
It was probably just a day too like the others, and he wanted that change.
I don't think he wanted death.
When Somang wrote her alternate ending novel (chapter 60 I think) She wrote her saving him from the ledge
"He wanted to live more than anyone else" or something like that
When he stepped on the ledge did he full send or was he hesitant? did he slip because of the rain and try to pull himself back up or was it on the way down did he realize what was actually happening.
If he wanted to live more than anyone else, i feel like it's even worse that he chose death as an escape.
He genuinely just needed to LIVE his own life apart from his parents expectations and desires.
Even if him dying forced his parents into realizing their mistakes it doesn't matter.
If he stayed alive, even if his parents didn't change, who gives a shit. him dying shouldn't be the cost of them realizing their mistake.
The fact he said he didn't hate them either he just wanted his brother to be free is also heart wrenching because in a way it worked. his death forced his parents to change and now his brother will never have to go through what he did. Although Jaemin suffers with the loss of Hamin.
Some things i noticed that add to the amount of detail this story has
Somang having the bang clip in the future like after Hamin cut her bangs too short in the past (representing her stuck in grief)
Somang keeping her hair short and Hamin later telling her in a dream to spice things up a bit (representing her healing)
us not knowing if it really was Hamin who was there when Jaemin said he wished his brother would disappear (adds to the uncertainty)
In Somangs dream, Hamin staring at her and essentially saying he wishes he could mentally take enough pictures to last him until the next time they see eachother
i'm starting to cry again. wow that line really hurt. the way they drew him just tilting his head at her absorbing every detail of her face. WOWWOWOW
probably painting thousands of images of her in his mind while he tumbles through eternal slumber.
I hope he is at peace.
Anyways I cry every time i read this to the point where just thinking about it activates my tear ducts. I could become a professional actor by the way i can cry on command.