i can't explain it but there's something about mokyeon's backstory that is making my heart hurt so much...like in a lot of bl backstories it's super tragic, there's abuse, like direct cruelty against the character. here it's just...not even neglect in that usual sense of being deliberately ignored, it's that he is just never anyone's priority. his mother had to put herself first (which i can't be mad at her for, she can't care for him while actively suffering from PPD, saving herself is best for both of them imo), but also his father couldn't work 2 jobs to keep them afloat while she was recovering AND care for mokyeon. his first foster parents seemed to care for him, but when their marriage fell apart dealing with that fallout became a priority over mokyeon and he went back to foster care. and then he ended up in a home with several other foster kids, where he's just another mouth to feed. and now in the present, he finds himself interested in nanjo like he's never been interested in anyone before, and seeing nanjo prioritize sunhwa over him has got to be like reliving his childhood all over again. obviously we don't know yet what happened after the end of season 1 that has made him sink into a depression like this, but i can only imagine it's along the lines of nanjo choosing sunhwa after that last chapter (where, in mokyeon's eyes at least, his and nanjo's relationship is out and the open and surely that's the end of nanjo and sunhwa), which given mokyeon's history with being abandoned...my shayla :(((( he's no fluffy green flag but he's a very interesting character and i hope he gets to grow and gain confidence in his own value as a person, whether he ends up with nanjo or not
i can't explain it but there's something about mokyeon's backstory that is making my heart hurt so much...like in a lot of bl backstories it's super tragic, there's abuse, like direct cruelty against the character. here it's just...not even neglect in that usual sense of being deliberately ignored, it's that he is just never anyone's priority. his mother had to put herself first (which i can't be mad at her for, she can't care for him while actively suffering from PPD, saving herself is best for both of them imo), but also his father couldn't work 2 jobs to keep them afloat while she was recovering AND care for mokyeon. his first foster parents seemed to care for him, but when their marriage fell apart dealing with that fallout became a priority over mokyeon and he went back to foster care. and then he ended up in a home with several other foster kids, where he's just another mouth to feed. and now in the present, he finds himself interested in nanjo like he's never been interested in anyone before, and seeing nanjo prioritize sunhwa over him has got to be like reliving his childhood all over again. obviously we don't know yet what happened after the end of season 1 that has made him sink into a depression like this, but i can only imagine it's along the lines of nanjo choosing sunhwa after that last chapter (where, in mokyeon's eyes at least, his and nanjo's relationship is out and the open and surely that's the end of nanjo and sunhwa), which given mokyeon's history with being abandoned...my shayla :(((( he's no fluffy green flag but he's a very interesting character and i hope he gets to grow and gain confidence in his own value as a person, whether he ends up with nanjo or not