Spoilers - I'm at ch 51

This will have spoilers. No, it's not over yet, but the info below will be telling.
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I got "Your Lie in April"-ed. Now I need to fill my brain with serotonin to offset all this BULLSHIT. FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK.ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ (╯°Д °)╯╧╧ I'm going to go after this writer. I swear. I just want to talk. With my hands. HOW CAN THEY WRITE SO MANY GOOD STORIES AND THIS GIVE ME THIS SHIT. I WAS LED ON. I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND TORTURE.

I need words with the writer and 99 trillion business days to recover from this. My phone, voice, and cat do too. From throwing my phone, yelling and screaming like a madman, and terrifying and concerning my cat.

Update: Fah passes. I was holding out hope that she'd somehow be able to make it back, but she doesn't. She's passes during the competition, and they didn't even get to say goodbye to each other. Darin ends up losing her absolute mind. A bit before the competition, Fah ends up going into Mei's dream and telling her that the time is coming, and to take care of Darin when it does. I'm on chapter 52 now. Darin is a hot fucking mess, understandably, and Mei is trying to take care of her. It's a struggle though.

Update: Mei and Darin had a confrontation. Mei had told her about how far popped up in her dream and asked her to take care of her. And so Darin was like why are you doing this just because somebody asked you in a dream. And then may said that yeah, she was asked to do it in her dream, but she's also doing it because she likes the Darin who sparkles. She said that Darin is both the person she wants to beat, but also the person what she wants. So she's going to fight for both.

Update: I just finished 53. This story gives me crazy anxiety and stress. Time has passed and Darin kept competing and winning. She would obsessively count the days since Fah's passing Darin and Mei graduated from highschool and both went abroad to France to continuing school in music. Darin's mom ships the two, cute. It's been a little over 4 yrs now, and they're still in France. Darin admits that once she moved to France she ended up being too busy to keep counting the days, though she still ends up saying the exactly number, and admits that she's sorry but ready to move on. The chapter ended with her getting a phone call from a friend that something happened to Mei. Though we don't know what yet. I'm dying here. Somebody needs to hold me back from this author.

To answer a commenter: Well, luckily Darin's grieving period doesn't drag out in more than 3-4 chapters.
I'm up to 55 now. She starts a relationship with Mei. Which is cute. They go out for like 4-5 yrs. But it looks like they're gonna split up. The end up wanting different things. They're living together, but they travel so much that they barely spend time together. Darin says she feels like she's done with all the traveling, and wants to move back home and start to settle down. Do some competitions and performances occasionally, but was thinking of becoming a piano teacher and wants to start a family. But Mei, being ever the competitive person, felt the opposite. She wants to keep performing, and that she's in her prime (with the prestige she rose to, though Darin did too). So they ask the other if they'd concede to the other's wants, and they decided that they just couldn't do it. Idk where it'll go from here. But if the story ends up without a good relationship, I'm legit gonna throw hands with the author! After everything they put us through.
ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ Their other stories are great and have happy couple endings. So I hope that'll be the case.